


You Never Know Until You Try

by Nerdygirlygirl



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blake sibling bonding, F/M, Hollywood AU, I don't know if that's a tag or not, Netflix and Chill, New Year's Eve, Secret Santa, Sibling Bonding, high school sweethearts, musican!Bellamy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-28 02:42:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5074270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdygirlygirl/pseuds/Nerdygirlygirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bunch of random one-shots and drabbles from prompts or from my own imagination. Basically a place for me to try some new things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Netflix and chill

**Author's Note:**

> This particualar idea came from my lack of knowing anything about the term "Netflix and chill." I read an article on popsugar about slang terms that will make you feel old and this one was listed so I looked it up and came up with some ideas.
> 
> The website Clarke shows Bellamy is linked [here](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=netflix+and+chill).
> 
> I came up with this idea before I found that website and so I just had to use the definition that Bellamy claims is Clarke's favorite.

Bellamy Blake may have been twenty-eight years old, but he acted more like he was eighty-eight. And he knew that. Between his best friend, Clarke, and his baby sister, Octavia, he knew that he tended to act a few decades older than he actually was. So he should have seen this coming one-day.

“What are you doing tonight?”

“What?”

“WHAT are you doing tonight?” Clarke repeated with a sigh.

“Nothing. I had a shift last night at the bar so I was thinking of just hanging out tonight,” Bellamy rubbed his face and rolled over to look at the alarm clock by his bed. The time read 9 am and he had just finished up at the bar at 3 and didn’t get home until 4. 

“Is there a reason why you called this early?” Bellamy flopped back into his bed.

“Uh,” Clarke paused. “I’m about to start some painting and I didn’t want to get lost in it and forget to call you. Why? What are you doing?”

“I was sleeping, but now I guess I’ll work on my dissertation.” 

“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t realize. I should have just texted you.”

“It’s fine, Clarke. What did you want?”

“Um, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight?”

“Yeah, uh, sure. What did you want to do?” 

“I don’t know. We can just hang out and watch Netflix and chill,” Clarke said in a rush.

Bellamy sighed, “Yeah. Sounds good. Eight a good time for you?”

“Yeah,” Clarke cleared her throat. “Eight’s fine.”

“Alright, see you then, princess.”

“Bye!” Clarke hung up quickly.

Bellamy ran a hand through his hair before dragging himself out of bed and throwing on some sweats. He shuffled into the kitchen and turned on the coffee pot Clarke got him when he started working on his dissertation. It was her congrats-you-old-man-you-got-into-grad-school-now-go-study-history gift (that’s what she wrote in the card when she gave it to him and yes her mother raised her right and she had to include a card in every gift – again, her words).

Bellamy spent the rest of the day working on his dissertation and getting a string of texts from Octavia. She never needed to get a response from him. She could have an entire conversation by herself. She was updating him on how her classes were going, how lunch with Lincoln – her latest boyfriend (and according to Clarke, her last), and how work was.

When it got close to 8, Bellamy jumped in the shower and got dressed in an old worn pair of jeans, a tshit, and his boots before grabbing his leather jacket and heading to Clarke’s apartment. He wasn’t surprised the door was unlocked, Clarke was forgetful when she was in the zone and she probably got home from the gallery and began thinking of all the new pieces she wanted to work on tomorrow and just forgot to lock the door. He would be more worried if the building wasn’t locked and people had to get buzzed in when visiting (Clarke gave him a key for the front door, as well as her door, when she moved in) and he knew all the people on Clarke’s floor were good people and tended to close the door when she left it open knowing she tended to be scatter-brained most days.

“Clarke!” Bellamy called as he opened the door and stuck his head in.

“Back here!” Her voice came from the spare guestroom and he was right to assume she was painting already. 

Bellamy wandered down the hall after dropping the food off on the kitchen counter and poked his head into the room, “Hey. O’s on a date right now.”

Clarke was sitting on the floor crossed legged staring at the two large canvases in front of her when she turned around and smiled brightly at him. Bellamy was stunned again by how beautiful she was and had to shake his head to clear those thoughts from his mind and hear what she was saying.

“Yeah, I know. Lincoln is so sweet. He’s taking her to this ballet that the inner-city kids put on every year. It’s really beautiful. And I know she’ll fall love with them and want to start teaching there when she’s done with school.”

Bellamy smirked and leaned against the door jam, “Let me guess, you suggested the ballet to Lincoln?”

Clarke shrugged as she stood up and Bellamy focused on her face and not her long, pale legs that were visible from her tiny shorts.

“My mom had two tickets,” Clarke smirked at him as she passed giving him a view of her from behind. “And I didn’t think you wanted to go so I gave them to Lincoln.”

“Couldn’t get a date so your only option is me? I’m touched, really,” Bellamy deadpanned.

Clarke glanced at him over her shoulder as she began unpacking the food he brought and he couldn’t read the look on her face and that scared him. She had been doing that a lot lately. They could normally read each other like an open book and now he couldn’t and he didn’t know what to do.

“Something like that,” Clarke muttered before making two plates and motioning to the fridge for him to grab the beers.

“Did you have a movie in mind you wanted to watch?” Bellamy asked as he followed her to the couch.

“Not really. I figured we would just find something on Netflix.”

“And chill. Right you said that. Since when did you start talking like a frat asshole?” Bellamy settled onto the couch next to her.

Clarke turned and raised an eyebrow at him, “You’re an ass.”

“What?” Bellamy looked at her in mock outrage. “You start talking like a douche and I’m the ass.”

“You know exactly what I was referring to. It’s why you wore those jeans,” Clarke nodded to his pants.

“What’s wrong with my jeans? I always wear them when we watch movies. They’re comfortable.”

“They’re comfortable, oh please,” Clarke rolled her eyes and snorted as she took a sip of beer.

Bellamy placed his beer and food on the table and looked Clarke in the eye, “What are you talking about?”

Clarke stared at him for a long minute before her annoyed look turned to understanding, “Oh my god, you really don’t know!”

Bellamy glared at her as she cackled and placed her food on the table next to his and pulled her phone out.

“What are you doing?”

“Raven didn’t believe me that you wouldn’t understand. I’ve got to tell her. She owes me twenty bucks.”

Bellamy reached over and pulled the phone from her hands, “Tell me what’s going on right now, Clarke.”

“Please stop using your big brother voice on me. It does not work how you think it does,” Clarke sighed and grabbed her phone back. She typed something into Google and turned the phone towards him. 

She had pulled up a website called Urban Dictionary and below it was various definitions for the phrase “Netflix and chill.” They ranged from: “It means you are going to go over to your partners house and fuck with Netflix in the background.” to “SEX. Basically a new way of booty calling.” His favorite (or obviously Clarke’s favorite): “A subtle way to lure a girl to come over to your place, initially as just a “friend”, so that it can lead to an opportunity of getting intimate with her while something is playing on Netflix. Romantic movies that the girl is interested in watching are ideal for getting her in the mood.”

Bellamy didn’t take his eyes off her phone, even as Raven texted her back saying “daaaammmnn. that boy is as dumb as a pile of rocks.” After reading that he handed the phone back to her and kept his eyes steady on her bright red face while she read Raven’s text.

Bellamy cleared his throat, “Care to explain.”

“Nope,” Clarke turned back to the Netflix home screen and began skimming through the horror section.

“Clarke,” Bellamy said softly and reached for the remote and pulled it out of her hand. “Talk to me.”

“It’s stupid. Don’t worry about it.”

Bellamy could hear the tears in her voice so he slid across the couch and pulled her into his chest. She stiffened before relaxing into him. 

“Why did you want to – I don’t know – do this?” Bellamy couldn’t say the words.

“Because I’ve been basically in love with you since college and you haven’t even looked my way – like that – once. So I thought if we hooked up maybe you would and when you agreed I thought you understood. Now I feel like such an ass for listening to Raven. I knew you didn’t know what it meant. You’re basically an old man.”

“Hey,” Bellamy said in all mock outrage – he knew he was an old man. “Clarke, I’ve never looked at you, like that, because you’re my best friend and I can’t lose you. You and Octavia are the two most important people in my life. And if I screw up anything with you – and I will – because let’s be honest. It’s me. I screw everything up. And I’m already screwing this up.”

“No, you’re not. You’re my best friend too. I’ll get over this eventually,” Clarke sighed before snuggling closer to him.

“Princess,” Bellamy squeezed her once before pushing her away so he could see her face. “You misunderstood me. I don’t want you to get over it because I’ve been in love with you since high school. I was just too stupid and scared. I was a mess in high school and college. Trying to take care of Octavia and my mom when she got sick.” Bellamy ran his hands through his hair worried he was screwing this up now too, “I just don’t want to be a hook up for you. I want to take you on dates and hold your hand in public and kiss you whenever I want to.”

“Bell,” Clarke sighed before grabbing his hand and leaning in. “I don’t need to go on dates and you always hold my hand in public – it’s my favorite thing. And you can always kiss me whenever you want.” Clarke was grinning before she said, “Like right now.”

“Thank god,” Bellamy leaned in and captured her lips with his and Clarke pulled herself even closer straddling his lap and grinding down on his hardening cock. “Fuck, Clarke.”

“We can do that too,” Clarke’s lips turned into a mischievous grin that he didn’t need to see to know it would be the death of him. 

“Not before I take you on a date,” Bellamy growled before moving his lips down her jawline and onto her neck.

“We go on dates all the time, Bell,” Clarke whined and Bellamy was pretty sure it wasn’t because she was upset. “This is a date. We have weekly movies nights that everyone else calls our date nights.”

“Clarke,” Bellamy warned, but she pulled back from him and pulled her tiny tank top off and Bellamy’s mouth when dry when he realized she wasn’t wearing a bra. “Damn it,” Bellamy swallowed before glancing up to get Clarke’ permission and she was blushing so beautifully. “You’re so goddamn beautiful, you know that?”

“I’ve been told, but it’s best coming from you.”

“The next person who isn’t me who says it will get my fist in their face.”

Clarke laughed, but it was cut off in a moan when he took one of her nipples into his mouth and lightly scraped it with his teeth, “Fuck, Bellamy.”

“You asked for it,” Bellamy could feel the shit-eating grin on his face.

Clarke looked at him with a peaceful smile on her face and she leaned down to press a soft, lingering, loving kiss on his lips. She pulled back enough to whisper against his lips, “I love you, in case you were wondering.”

Bellamy smiled back, “I love you too, in case you were wondering.”

Clarke laughed and Bellamy stood up with her still in his lap and she gasped automatically wrapping her legs around his waist.

“We are so not doing this on your couch,” Bellamy said as he carried her to her room.

“Good. I know how the couch fucks with your back, you old man,” Clarke giggled again as he dropped her lightly on her bed and watched her tits bonce. 

“I’ll show you what an old man can do,” Bellamy grinned as he pulled her shorts and panties off in one tug.

“Shit,” Clarke gasped as Bellamy settled between her thighs. “Wait, wait, wait.”

“What?” Bellamy raised an eyebrow at her.

“Take your shirt off and your shoes, but leave your pants on.”

“Why?”

“Seriously? You really don’t know about those pants?”

“What is wrong with my pants?” Bellamy glanced down at the worn fabric and the hole in the knee that he never got his mom to patch.

“Nothing is wrong with them, Bellamy,” Clarke dropped her head onto her bed and flung an arm over her face before muttering. “That’s the problem.”

Bellamy stripped off his shirt and shoes and climbed up her body to pull her arm off her face, “Then tell me what’s the problem.”

“Your ass looks fucking amazing in them. You’re not allowed to wear them out anymore. I have to glare at every girl who checks you out when they pass us. It’s annoying.”

Bellamy laughed so hard and dropped his head onto her shoulder, “God, I love you.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Clarke said without heat.

“If that’s how it’s going to be, I’m going to have to take you shopping because I don’t think you own a proper shirt that doesn’t show off these gorgeous tits and I can’t handle watching every guy who is taller than you – which is everyone except Monty probably – look down your shirt.”

Clarke giggled again, “We’re kind of a mess aren’t we?”

“Whatever,” Bellamy leaned in to nuzzle her cheek.

“Here’s a deal. You can wear the jeans, but expect my hand on your ass at all times and I’ll keep wearing my shirts and you can deck any guy who looks.”

“I really like that deal,” Bellamy leaned in to kiss her wet and dirty before slowly moving down her body again. He made her come twice before he even got inside of her – once with his hands and again with his mouth. When he finally got to slide into her, they both just stopped and stared into each other eyes like a bunch of love sick morons – which he kind of guessed they were. When they came together, he swore he saw fucking stars.

After, he tried to roll off her, but she wrapped her arms and legs around him keeping him in place for a few minutes before finally allowing him to roll off.

“You know what we need to do now, right?” Clarke turned on her side to face him.

“Princess, give me like twenty minutes and we can go again, I promise. Maybe some food too.”

Clarke laughed and smacked her hand against his chest, “We need to take a selfie and send it to Raven.” 

“Why?” Bellamy turned his head to give her a dubious look.

“Because this whole Netflix and chill thing was her stupid idea and if it worked, she’s going to try it on Wells,” Clarke gave him a beautiful smile before hopping out of her bed to grab her phone from the living room and grabbed his shirt on the way out.

Bellamy reached down to grab his phone out of his jeans pocket and searched Google for the same thing Clarke showed him and sent the link to Wells with the following text “you’re going to need to know this soon. good luck, man” and tossed his phone back onto his jeans just as Clarke bounced back into the room wearing his shirt. 

“You should only wear those shirts from now on. Not yours anymore.”

Clarke’s smile took over her face and she leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek before throwing her legs over his lap and resting her head on his shoulder and using her arm to take a picture of the two of them. She pouted when she looked at it and showed him.

“I can’t get a good angle. My arms are too short.”

“Here, let me,” Bellamy took the phone from her and snapped the picture and sent it to himself before giving the phone back to her.

“Why’d you do that?”

“I need a new background for my phone,” Bellamy showed her the old one of the two of them from their high school prom when they decided to go as friends.

“Ew, that’s what has been on your phone. Definitely use that one,” Clarke turned back to her phone and typed a message to Raven, who responded immediately with a mix of exclamation points and random emojis and a final text that said “operation get Clarke laid by Bellamy is complete.”

Bellamy grabbed the phone and typed a message back to Raven, “Next up, operation get Raven laid by Wells. And I already prepped Wells. Love, Bellamy.”

Clarke started to laugh and pressed her face into his shoulder as he sent the message and tossed her phone next to his on the floor.

“Now, princess, where were we?”

“Round two?” Clarke squeaked as Bellamy pulled her on top of him.

“Round two.”


	2. Brother (Doesn't Always) Know Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy thinks he always knows what's best, but Octavia is about to show him that that's not always true.
> 
> Title is a play on the phrase: mother always knows what's best (or something like that).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read an article on Twitter this morning and this idea popped into my head. It was actually a really said article, but the end had this really great quote and I just thought wow, that's how I imagine a young Octavia dealing with being raised by her brother. And it sort of made sense with the article: which was about a woman who was raped at 11 and gave birth to her daughter at 12, but raised the daughter as her sister until she was 12 and told her. The end had a really great quote from the daughter who is in her early 20s now and she said that they're relationship was never one-sided with one taking care of the other, but it was partnership working together and earlier in the article, the mother sat the daughter down and explained how things would be a little tough right now because she was starting law school, but she was doing it to make a better life for her daughter and she needed her daughter's help with things like making dinner and it was just overall a great story that started out so depressing. (I didn't realize how tragic that all sounded. I'm really sorry. The story is nothing like that - I promise.)
> 
> Anyway, I tried to be clear with the ages, but Octavia is 11 when Aurora dies and Bellamy is 17-18. The bulk of the story takes place three years later so Octavia is 14 and Bellamy is 21 and Clarke is 20. 
> 
> There is some Bellarke in this, but it's not romantic (yet). This is mostly an exploration in Octavia and Bellamy's relationship. I'm hoping on having a part 2 with Bellamy's POV and have a romantic Bellarke if people are interested, but this got too long and I needed to post it.

Octavia was eleven years old when things got weird in her house. Her mom was often tired, but that wasn’t anything new – she worked three jobs so she was always gone and always tired, but it was Bell that made things weird.

 

Bellamy was seventeen years old and throwing himself into his studies. If he wasn’t studying, he was filling out all this paperwork with big words that an 11 year old didn’t understand and when she asked, Bell said not to worry about it – so she didn’t. But Bell was angry – more angry than normal and it scared Octavia a little bit.

 

Then one day Aurora was home when she got home from school and Octavia was excited and asked if she was going to be home for dinner and Aurora told her that they were having a special dinner for Bell. Octavia demanded to help then – anything for Bell.

 

Octavia spent all afternoon in the kitchen helping her mother make adobo, Bellamy’s favorite dinner. And it was fun. Octavia normally didn’t like cooking, but she liked cooking with her mom. She always turned the music up to loud and would dance around the kitchen collecting the ingredients. It was Octavia’s favorite memories from Thanksgiving or Christmas – the only real times her mom was home to cook dinner.

 

Bellamy came home right around dinnertime. He had told her that morning that he had to stay at the library, but would be home to make her dinner. So when he walked in the door and Octavia ran to him and said they made dinner – he was confused.

 

“Mom, what’s going on?”

 

“Congratulations, my baby!” Aurora wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight.

 

“What?” Bell looked at Octavia and then back to Aurora.

 

Aurora pulled out an envelope off the counter that Octavia hadn’t seen before and handed it to Bell, who opened it and scanned the contents quickly – his eyes got really big and Octavia was now curious so she went over to read the letter. On the top in big letters was Ark University.

 

“You got in to college!” Octavia screamed at a level that was probably too loud, but Aurora was smiling and Bell had an actual smile on his face so Octavia didn’t care.

 

“Yeah, O. I got into college,” Bellamy wrapped her up in a hug so hard she came off the floor – her favorite kinds.

 

“You’re going to college, Bell!” Octavia started to sing those five words over and over again, but she noticed the sad look that crossed Bell’s face and how he would glance at Aurora whose smile became forced.

 

It was six months later that Octavia finally found out what was going on. Her mother had been sick and didn’t want her last months to be colored by her sickness for Octavia. She wanted her to enjoy them and have happy memories. So it explained the tired look in Bell’s eyes as he picked up more shifts and more jobs during the summer so Octavia and Aurora could have adventures.

 

By the beginning of August, Aurora was gone and Octavia was confused. They had plans to go to the beach when Bell had off this week. They still hadn’t fully explored the zoo or the aquarium.

 

Before Octavia knew it, her mother was dead and in the ground and her brother was her legal guardian having already won custody while their mom was alive and they were moving to a one bedroom apartment because Bellamy could afford the house with their mom’s three jobs and whatever Bell could pick up, but he couldn’t do it on his own.

 

Octavia spent the next three years alternately mad at her brother for not telling her their mom was sick (she _thought_ they told each other everything) and watching him throw his life away so she could have everything she wanted. Most nights – when she was home alone after Bell left for the bartending job or the overnight janitor job – Octavia cried herself to sleep. She cried for herself and not only losing her mother, but her brother too. She cried for Bell and all the missed opportunities.

 

Octavia knew Bellamy had no social life beyond the occasional Sundays when Miller came over for dinner (because of course Bellamy would work himself to the bone, but he would never miss a dinner with Octavia). She knew there were the occasional nights where he would go out and not go to work, but still come home in the early morning hours smelling like girly perfume.

 

She knew it sucked, but she knew he was doing the best he could. So she called her only friend up – Harper – and asked to have a sleepover. They had important things to discuss when Bell wasn’t around.

 

Harper knew how hard life was. Her own mom was a drug addict who had too many boyfriends who hit her and would have hit Harper if her mom still had custody of her, but she died a few years ago and the Kanes adopted Harper. Harper told Octavia that she had been scared of living with a new family because she would always miss her mom, but she not only had a different mom, but a dad and a big sister too.

 

Octavia had met Clarke a few times since Harper and her had become friends, but Clarke was away at school most of the time so she only saw her on breaks and Clarke had always been so nice to Octavia. Making sure she had extra helpings of dessert and driving her home when she couldn’t stay over because it was a school night and once even staying with Octavia until she fell asleep so she wouldn’t have to be home alone. Clarke was nice and she was going to school to be a counselor for kids so she was easy to talk to. Octavia really hoped Clarke was home.

 

Harper banged on the Blake’s front door and yelled for Octavia to hurry up. Bellamy opened the door and offered Harper a grin. He was well aware of the former crush her best friend had on him. However, Harper had moved on to a boy in their class who was nothing like Bellamy (but was a little more attainable in Octavia’s opinion). Octavia just didn’t have the heart to tell her brother yet.

 

“Hey Harper. What’s on the agenda for tonight?” Octavia heard Bell ask.

 

“Hi Bellamy,” Harper said and Octavia bounced into the room to find Bellamy standing in just sweats without a shirt on and Octavia rolled her eyes. If he knew of Harper’s crush, why was he standing their without a shirt on and Bellamy caught her eye roll and shrugged meaning he was in the process of changing when he heard the door and didn’t grab a shirt. Octavia rolled her eyes again.

 

“Harper,” Clarke’s voice could be heard down the hall. “I forgot to tell you to ask Octavia’s brother if she can spend the weekend. We can bring her back for family dinners if he wants or he can come to our house.” Clarke’s voice got closer until she appeared in the doorway.

 

“Oh,” Clarke’s face turned pink as she glanced down at Bell’s bare chest, but instead of stumbling over her words she met his eyes and raised on single eyebrow and Octavia couldn’t believe it, but Bell actually blushed – his ears turning red and he rubbed the back of his neck – his biggest tell for being embarrassed.

 

“Bellamy,” Octavia grinned. “This is Harper’s big sister, Clarke. Harper’s parents are out of town for something and Clarke’s home from school. So she’s going to be watching us.”

 

“Oh, cool,” Bellamy cleared his throat. He was well aware of the Kane’s money and it was always a sore spot for him, but Harper was the first friend Octavia made at her new school so he learned to keep his opinions to himself and Octavia knew higher education was a sore spot for him and she was going to make it a shining moment for him again – like the night they celebrated his acceptance to Ark University.

 

“So dinner?” Clarke asked again and Bellamy’s eyes widened and Harper and Octavia made eye contact and covered their mouths to suppress their giggles. “I mean for Octavia. What do you want to do?”

 

“It’s fine. I don’t want to mess up whatever you guys are doing. So as long as you feed her, I’m fine,” Bellamy rubbed the back of his neck again and Octavia watched Clarke’s eyebrows draw together.

 

“Do you know where we live?” Clarke crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow challengingly at Bellamy.

 

Bellamy smirked, “Of course, princess. I know which mansion is yours.”

 

Clarke’s face turned pinker and she scowled at Bellamy, “Good. Be there tonight at six sharp.”

 

“Fine,” Bellamy crossed his arms and met her scowl. “Whatever the hell you want, princess.”

 

Octavia rolled her eyes and turned to Clarke and Harper, “I’ll meet you guys downstairs in a minute.”

 

“Sure, O,” Clarke’s smile grew when she saw Bellamy’s scowl darken.

 

Harper pushed Clarke as they began walking down the hall, “Why are you acting so weird?”

 

“I’m not acting weird,” Clarke responded laughing.

 

“You are going to come tonight and you’re going to be nice to Clarke. I like her. She’s nice. She’s like you, but a girl,” Octavia pointed a finger at Bellamy.

 

“What does that even mean, O?”

 

“It means that Harper hasn’t always had it easy and Clarke’s always been her big sister for her. Just like you’ve always been my big brother. Clarke comes home whenever Harper needs her even if she spends the entire weekend sitting on the couch because their parents aren’t home.”

 

“Oh, the little princess is missing out on the college life because of her little sister?” Bellamy said so nastily that Octavia actually took a step back. “I’m sorry, O. That was out of line. I’m just really tired. I got in late last night.”

 

“I know,” Octavia smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist. She could never sleep without someone else in the house, but she didn’t want to tell Bell that she spent most nights waiting up for him and then pretending to sleep. He would never forgive himself. “But please come tonight if you’re not working.”

 

“I promise I’ll come and try to be nice, O,” Bellamy pulled her in to a tighter hug and her feet left the floor again and Octavia smiled into his chest.

 

“I love you, big brother.”

 

“I love you too, O.”

 

Once Clarke brought Harper and Octavia back to the Kane’s house, Octavia decided to start her plan.

 

“Clarke, I need your help,” Octavia said before they got farther than the front foyer.

 

“Oh god,” Clarke turned to her panicked. “Listen, I like you Octavia, but I’m not going behind your brother’s back on anything. On the other hand, it would be awesome to piss him off. What’s the problem?”

 

“Well, its Bell, actually,” Octavia started to chew on her fingernails – a bad habit she had as a kid and it came back after her mom died.

 

“What about him?” Clarke said slowly.

 

“Octavia wants to help him get into college,” Harper added for her friend.

 

“What do you mean?” Clarke crossed her arms.

 

“Well, Bellamy got into Ark University when he was seventeen. He just couldn’t go because our mom was sick and she died shortly after he graduated high school. It was my mom’s dream to see him get into college so he applied knowing even if he was accepted, he would never actually go. And he’s really smart, like probably smarter than you.”

 

Clarke huffed and muttered something under her breath.

 

“Not like smarter smarter, maybe smarter in a different way. Clarke, he reads history books for fun,” Octavia finished outraged.

 

“Oh my god, why would he do that?” Clarke’s eyes widened and she looked shocked because why would anyone want to read history books for fun.

 

“Exactly!” Octavia flung her hands in the air. “Can you help?”

 

Clarke sighed and glanced between the two girls with matching puppy dog eyes, “Why didn’t he go to Ark if he got in?”

 

“Because he couldn’t leave me alone right after our mom died. She didn’t want to split us up and he couldn’t afford to take care of me and pay for school things.”

 

Clarke nodded and Octavia could see her thinking so she glanced at Harper who gave her a small, but hopeful grin and Octavia hoped Harper was right that her sister would help.

 

“How old is he?” Clarke asked absentmindedly and Octavia glanced at Harper not knowing why his age was important, but Harper grinned and answered.

 

“A year older than you.”

 

Clarke sighed, “Alright. Harper, go get your laptop and you two meet me in the living room. We’ve got work to do.”

 

Octavia and Harper both squealed and threw their arms around Clarke in a joint hug before running upstairs to grab Harper’s old laptop (a hand me down from Clarke’s high school years because contrary to what Bellamy believed, the Kanes didn’t spoil their children unnecessarily) and the old iPad that Octavia used whenever they did homework together. They met Clarke in the living room to find her own laptop out and snacks littered across the table and began to work.

 

It was hours later when the front door banged open that any of them realized how long they had spent researching financial packets and scholarships and grants.

 

“Griffin, I’m going to kill you and then bring you back to life and kill you again,” a female voice yelled from the front door.

 

“Over here, Raven,” Clarke called back and a tall Latina with dark hair pulled into a ponytail walked into the room with takeout bags.

 

“I can’t believe you ditched me this weekend. Of all weekends,” the girl – Raven said.

 

“Sorry, Rae. I told you, mom and Marcus had to go out of town for some medical conference and I had to stay with Harper.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. You could have at least invited me along?” Raven pouted sliding to the floor next to Clarke and leaned her head on her shoulder.

 

“I thought you wanted to hang out with _Kyle_ ,” Clarke sing-songed.

 

“Shut it, Griffin,” Raven shoved Clarke, then turned to look at Octavia. “Who’s this?”

 

“My best friend,” Harper spoke up with a grin. “Octavia, this is Raven, Clarke’s best friend. Raven, this is Octavia.”

 

Raven grinned at Harper before turning to Octavia, “Ah, the famous O. I’ve heard a lot about you, little O.”

 

Octavia smiled and muttered, “Nice to meet you.”

 

“God, are all you rich people this polite?” Raven turned to Clarke.

 

“Uh,” Clarke stuttered for a minute glancing to Octavia and then shook her head at Raven and said something under her breath that sounded like _not now_.

 

“I’m not rich,” Octavia said proudly. “My mom died and my older brother is taking care of me. We live in a one bedroom apartment and Clarke is helping me find a way for Bell to go to college because he’s really smart and I don’t want him to miss things because of me.”

 

“Oh,” Raven grinned and looked at Clarke. “Already trying to save the world, huh, Griffin?”

 

“Shut up, Rae,” Clarke grumbled eyes already on her computer.

 

“Well, then. Let me at the very least feed the army that’s going to save the world. I brought all your favorites because I’m the bestest best friend who will willingly give up _date night_ to help save the world.”

 

“Shit,” Clarke jumped up. “It’s dinnertime already?” Clarke glanced down at her phone to check the time and Octavia leaned over to look at Harper’s laptop with the time – 5:45.

 

“Quick,” Octavia began piling up all the computer printouts she had been reading through and helped Clarke and Harper clean up.

 

“What’s going on?” Raven glanced around at the three of them.

 

“Her brother is coming over for dinner since Octavia is spending the weekend. And he can’t know what we’re doing,” Clarke rushed through as she began hiding things.

 

It took fifteen minutes to clean up the living room and make it look like they had spent the day watching movies and eating too much junk food (which was at least half right).

 

Raven had begun to set up the takeout in the dining room because Abby did not like any messes in her living room when the doorbell rang and Clarke turned terrified eyes on Octavia who gave her a big smile before heading to the front door to let her brother in.

 

When she opened the door and saw her brother standing there in a nice shirt and clean jeans, the biggest smile crossed her face – he was trying! Octavia threw her arms around him and said _thank you_ quietly which he responded with a gruff _whatever, O_.

 

“Come on,” Octavia dragged him into the dining room where the other three girls were putting the finishing touches on everything. “You remember Clarke from this morning, right, Bell?” Octavia grinned as Bellamy narrowed his eyes at her.

 

“Of course, O. I couldn’t forget the princess,” Bellamy turned to look at Clarke and plastered his stupid smirk on. “Your Highness, thank you so very much for the invitation.”

 

Clarke took a deep breath and offered a tight smile. Octavia had spent some time explaining to Clarke some of her brother’s issues and Clarke seemed to understand that he was antagonizing her because he was mad he didn’t get to go to college and she did. Octavia squeezed Bellamy’s hand as a warning to be nice and he sighed again.

 

“I’m serious. Thank you, Clarke. I have to work tonight, but I like to have dinner with O whenever I can. So I appreciate the invite.”

 

Clarke grinned, “Of course.”

 

Raven cleared her throat and was wearing a grin that would have scared Octavia if it was directed at her, Clarke seemed to flinch when she saw it so it probably didn’t mean anything good.

 

“This is my friend, Raven. We go to school together.”

 

“Right. Nice to meet you,” Bellamy offered a nod, but he seemed to narrow his eyes at her like she was familiar, but he shook his head and said hello to Harper who grinned back.

 

Everyone took a seat and Octavia watched as Bellamy was forced to sit at the head of the table and across from Clarke. Raven seemed to be sending grins at Clarke that meant something because Clarke kept shaking her head back at Raven. Octavia glanced at Harper who smiled wide and leaned over to whisper in her ear, “This is going to be so much fun. Just watch.”

 

Octavia smiled at her best friend and couldn’t help but feel her excitement.

 

Octavia really didn’t know how they had gotten to where they were, but she was seriously reconsidering trying to help her brother out now. She didn’t really follow the conversation. It seemed innocent enough and about people she didn’t know until Clarke stood up and shouted at Bellamy that he didn’t know anything and stormed out of the room. Harper had tears in her eyes and followed her sister. The Blakes were the only ones left at the table with Raven who was grinning so hard.

 

“Wow, you’re a real asshole, aren’t you?” Raven narrowed her eyes at Bellamy.

 

“Yeah, I am. Got a problem with that.”

 

“Only when it hurts my best friend. You have no idea what her life it like.”

 

“Oh, it can’t be that hard for a princess living in a big mansion going to a fancy school,” Bellamy sneered.

 

“Well, that princess lost her dad five years ago in that same explosion that you blame on Jaha, who happened to be the father of her best friend whose death you so callously said was justified,” Raven’s arms crossed over her chest and she raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“Fuck,” Bellamy sighed and ran a hand through his hair – his tell for being frustrated. “Her last name is Kane.”

 

“No, it’s Griffin. Harper’s is Kane. Harper was adopted by Abby – formerly Griffin – and Marcus Kane. Clarke’s parents split when she as five and Abby remarried Marcus about three years later. Jake was engaged to another engineer down at the plant named Callie Cartwig. It was all very weird. Abby and Callie were best friends and Marcus and Jake were best friends and they all remained friendly after the divorce too. Clarke may have had that idyllic childhood you keep thinking she has, but it hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows.”

 

“The Jahas?” Bellamy kept his head down and it came out muttered.

 

“Another friend of the family’s. Wells and Clarke grew up together. They were practically brother and sister. I think you of all people can understand her pain,” Raven gave Bellamy a pointed look that he picked his head up just in time to catch and sigh.

 

“I’ll be back,” Bellamy muttered and left the table.

 

Octavia turned her wide eyes on Raven, who grinned at her, “Don’t worry, lil’ bird. Clarke will yell at him and call him an asshole and he’ll apologize and everything will be fine.”

 

Octavia nodded slowly and turned back to her food. She could barely look up when Harper slid into the seat next to her quietly and glanced up to Raven too.

 

“God, these asshole leave me with their scared little sisters while they go fuck around,” Raven sighed and leaned across the table to Harper. “Don’t worry, okay? You know Clarke. She doesn’t forgive easily, but she doesn’t hold grudges. Look at us.”

 

It was an hour later when Bellamy came down and leaned over to press a kiss onto Octavia’s head and ruffled her hair.

 

“Clarke’s going to drop you off tomorrow for Sunday night dinner. I’ll see you then, okay?”

 

Octavia nodded, but stood up and took his hand and walked with him to the door slowly.

 

“Is everything okay?” Octavia asked quietly worried that Clarke wouldn’t let her stay and that Harper wouldn’t want to be her friend anymore.

 

“Everything’s fine, O,” Bellamy knelt down so they were on the same level. “I promise. I apologized and told Clarke I wouldn’t bring it up ever again and we talked. Everything’s fine. Clarke’s not going to throw you out and Harper isn’t going to stop being your friend, I promise.”

 

“Did you ask?” Octavia gave him a look that he laughed at.

 

“Yeah, I double checked for you.”

 

Octavia grinned and threw her arms around his neck, “Thank you.”

 

“I am sorry, O. I didn’t mean any of it. You know that, right?”

 

“I’m not really sure what happened, but I know you made Clarke upset and you can’t do that, okay? She’s really nice and she helps Harper and me out a lot with things. So can you please be nice to her for me?”

 

“I promise I will try harder to be nicer.” Octavia gave him a look that said you promised to be nice tonight and Bellamy sighed. “I really swear it this time, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Octavia nodded and kissed her brother’s cheek before sending him off.

 

Octavia skipped back into the dining room to find Clarke sitting back down and Harper watching her closely. Octavia stopped and cleared her throat, “I’m really sorry my brother is such a dick, Clarke.”

 

Clarke chocked on the sip of water she had just taken and laughed with Raven, “I don’t think he would appreciate you calling him a dick, but it’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

 

“I made him promise to be nice tonight and he wasn’t. So it is my fault. Especially since you’re doing such a nice thing for him. I mean – you were – you don’t have to anymore. He was a jerk. You shouldn’t do nice things for people who are mean to you.”

 

Raven started laughing, “And that’s exactly why Clarke will still help you. She believes in killing people with kindness.”

 

“Shut up, Rae. Don’t you have a _date night_ tonight?”

 

“Oh no. This is too good. I am going to sit here all night and watch you work miracles for the hot asshole.”

 

“Eww,” Octavia closed her eyes and covered her ears, but she still heard Clarke mutter _he’s not that hot._

 

That night Harper and Octavia went to bed early and left Clarke and Raven to finish all the harper aspect of their research. Octavia thought Harper was asleep when she heard the other girl speak.

 

“Clarke wants to be a counselor for kids because of what happened to me and her. She was the first person I talked about you to. I told her there was a new girl in our class who looked sad like I use to be sad and how she was sad and she asked what I was going to do about it. And I said I was going to be your friend.”

 

“Thank you, Harper. I never thanked you for being my friend that first week of school. It was hard. Bell was barely eating or sleeping and I didn’t know what to do and being at school – away from him for long periods of time – was hard, but you made it easy. You didn’t push me to talk. You just told me about yourself and said we were going to be friends. I really appreciate that.”

 

“You’re my best friend, Octavia.”

 

“You’re my best friend, Harper.”

 

The next day, Raven and Clarke had planned an all day all girls adventure for the four of them and Octavia hadn’t had that much fun in a long time. She felt incredibly guilty about that. Bellamy was doing the best he could and Octavia knew that, but it was hard with him being gone all the time.

 

As it got closer to dinnertime, Octavia was nervous about how to approach Bellamy with all the research they had done. He wasn’t going to be happy and he was just going to tell Octavia that she didn’t understand, but she did and she wanted to see her brother make something out of himself – instead of just being the part-time worker of three different jobs.

 

Clarke must have sensed her worry because when it was time to go, she announced that Raven was going to take Harper home where their parents were waiting to have dinner with her and Clarke would be having dinner with the Blakes.

 

“Are you crazy?” Octavia practically screamed.

 

“No,” Clarke looked at her confused.

 

“Bellamy will literally kill you. I know he can’t kill me and I can pester him enough to actually look at the stuff, but he will kill you.”

 

“You may get him to actually look at the stuff, but I can actually convince him to apply.”

 

“Really? How are you going to do that, Griffin?” Raven smirked at her.

 

“I have my ways,” Clarke gritted out.

 

“Are you going to promise to have sex with him if he applies? Because no offense, I’m not stupid. I know Bell gets laid pretty regularly. I don’t think he has a problem with girls,” Octavia pointed out.

 

“Oh my god, no!” Clarke sputtered turning bright red. “No, no, no. I don’t even want to know how you know any of that or if Harper does too.”

 

“I do,” Harper squeaked quietly. “We are fourteen, Clarkey.”

 

Raven was laughing like an evil witch and couldn’t catch her breath, “This is priceless.”

 

“No, god. He owes me one. He said it himself. So I’m calling in the favor. He has to apply.”

 

“Do you really want to waste a favor from him on _that_?” Raven’s eyebrows danced up and down.

 

“And what else would I waste a favor on?” Clarke asked horrified.

 

“Hide a body?” Harper asked and Raven laughed.

 

“Oh, you innocent minds. I know exactly what favor you could use. You know scratch that itch you were just complaining about?”

 

“What itch?” Octavia asked and Clarke looked at her horrified before turning to Raven.

 

“Shut up. There are fourteen years olds around.”

 

“Exactly. That’s why I’m speaking in code,” Raven rolled her eyes.

 

“Oh god. This conversation never happened,” Clarke pointed a finger at Harper and Octavia in warning. “Got it?”

 

“Got it,” the two said in unison.

 

“Alright, let’s go.”

 

That was how Octavia ended up at her own Sunday night family dinner with Clarke Griffin and her brother – mortal enemies.

 

“I’m home, jerkface!” Octavia yelled into the house.

 

“Welcome back, pipsqueak,” Miller could be heard from the living room.

 

Clarke raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“My brother’s best friend. Kind of like another big brother. We have a love-hate relationship,” Octavia sighed deeply.

 

“Got it.”

 

Octavia led Clarke into the living room to find Miller laying across the entire couch with the remote in one hand pointed at the TV.

 

“Can you be presentable? We have a guest,” Octavia asked primly.

 

Miller tipped his head back to look at Clarke, “Who’s the blonde?”

 

Octavia rolled her eyes, “This is Harper’s sister, Clarke. She goes to Ark U, like you and she’s staying for dinner.”

 

“Cool. Does your brother know?”

 

“He invited you without asking me. I am allowed to invite a friend.”

 

“You said she was your friend’s sister?”

 

“And my friend too. So shut up and be nice to her.”

 

“Whatever,” Miller grinned. “Welcome,” he said to Clarke and gestured to the only armchair that normally belonged to Bellamy.

 

“I wouldn’t sit there,” Octavia whispered quietly. “That’s Bell’s seat. He’s already going to be mad that you’re here and if you sit in his seat . . .” Octavia trailed off.

 

“Cool,” Clarke grinned and made her way over to plop down in the seat. Octavia sighed and made her way over to Miller and climbed over his legs before kicking them around so she could sit on them.

 

Bellamy walked in the door a few minutes later, “Hey asshole, your feet better not be on my couch!”

 

“They’re not,” Miller called back. “They’re on your sister.”

 

“O’s home,” Bellamy sounded closer before he stuck his head into the living. “Hey, O.”

 

Bellamy’s eyes slid to Clarke next and he disappeared into the kitchen to drop what looked like pizza onto the counter before coming back into the living room, “Thanks for bringing her home, Clarke. You didn’t have to stay.”

 

“Octavia invited me over for dinner,” Clarke responded with a smile.

 

“Oh, well. Oh. Octavia, can I speak with you in the kitchen?” Bellamy’s smile was forced so Octavia sighed and climbed over Miller again who began to hum the Star Wars song, that played when Darth Vader first showed up because he claimed it always sounded ominous to him.

 

Octavia walked into the kitchen and put on her sweetest smile, “Yes, Bell?”

 

“Why did you invite her?”

 

“Because her parents are taking Harper to a fancy dinner and Clarke wasn’t suppose to be home so they didn’t RSVP her and she had no where else to go. And after she was so nice to me, I couldn’t let her be alone,” Octavia pulled out the puppy dog eyes and Bellamy sighed.

 

“Fine,” Bellamy grunted.

 

“And you’ll still be nice, too, right?” Octavia pushed and Bellamy glared at her before turning around and pulling plates down from the cabinets. He may not have said it, but Octavia knew she won.

 

Everyone had at least one slice of pizza (or two if you were Miller and made a sandwich out of two slices for every one that everyone else had), when Clarke cleared her throat.

 

“Thanks for letting me stay and have dinner with you guys,” Clarke smiled sweetly at Bellamy and he blinked a few times before his ears turned pinks and he rubbed his neck.

 

“Ah, yeah. Anytime.”

 

“So Octavia came over yesterday and asked for my help with a research project she had,” Clarke began and Octavia closed her eyes.

 

“I’m sorry. She could have asked me. I try and help her with all her homework,” Bellamy turned his glare on Octavia. “Why didn’t you ask me or Miller?”

 

“It wasn’t homework,” Octavia began quietly.

 

“No,” Clarke interrupted. “It wasn’t homework.”

 

Clarke wiped her hands off on her napkin and pulled the large binder out of her messenger bag and handed it to Bellamy.

 

“However, it is homework for you.”

 

“Me?” Bellamy took the binder while Miller started to snigger to himself.

 

“College applications and financial packets,” Clarke crossed her arms and leaned over the table staring Bellamy down.  


“What? Why?” Bellamy turned to Octavia and glared at her. “O, this is not something you discuss with perfect strangers.”

 

“Clarke isn’t a stranger. She’s a friend and I would have done it all myself, but I don’t know everything that Clarke knows about school and stuff and I thought she could help.”

 

“Octavia, go to your room. We will discuss this later.”

 

Octavia’s jaw dropped. Bellamy had never grounded her for anything. They yelled at each other and said mean things, but he never grounded her. He tried to keep the lines between brother and father very far apart.

 

“No,” Octavia crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. “I am a part of this family and I am tired of being treated as if I don’t have a say. You always say that we discuss things as a family and make decisions as a family. I didn’t fight you when you wanted to move here and away from my school and my friends.”

 

Bellamy raised one eyebrow at her.

 

“Okay, I didn’t fight you much, but I accepted it after you explained to me that we couldn’t afford to stay there anymore.”

 

Bellamy’s eye cut over to Clarke in warning.

 

“She already knows everything. Raven has a friend who hacked into your bank accounts and looked at your financial information already. They wanted to find the best scholarships that would accept you.”

 

“Octavia,” Clarke warned and Octavia winced. She wasn’t suppose to tell him that.

 

“Sorry,” she said quietly and chanced a glance at Bellamy who looked furious.

 

“First of all, don’t reprimand my sister. Second, get the hell out. This is so far over the line of what you should be doing with your spare time. We are not some charity case that you can just decide to take on to fix. You want to save the world. That’s fine. Don’t bring us into it. We don’t need saving and we don’t need fixing,” Bellamy was yelling so loud by the end that Octavia had to cover her ears and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

 

“First of all, it’s not charity. It’s someone helping you out. No one is giving you anything, other than research. It’s up to you to do the rest. Second, why are you such a fucking asshole?! Your sister is worried about you. She thinks you’re throwing your life away by taking care of her and she wants to help you. There is nothing that is wrong with that. That is love like I have never seen before. That is someone caring for you so much that they are willing to ask others for help. She knew if she came in here alone with that information you would tell her that she’s just a kid and doesn’t understand, but she’s not. And that’s because of you. You’ve never treated her like a kid and you’ve always been there for her. She just wants to return the favor.”

 

“Guys,” Miller said quietly and both turned to him, but his eyes were on Octavia whose tears had spilled over and were streaming down her face.

 

“O,” Bellamy said quietly dropping in front of her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”

 

“It – it’s okay, Bell,” Octavia wrapped her arms around him. “I love you. I just want you to be happy and have a life that’s not all about me.”

 

“Octavia, my life started the day you were born. Of course you’re always going to be important in it.”

 

“I know, Bell,” Octavia pulled back and placed her hands on either side of his cheeks so he would look her in the eyes. “It was mom’s dream to see you get into college, but it’s my dream to see you graduate. I know you can do great things and I want you to do them.”

 

Bellamy hung his head, “I know you’re not proud to have me as a brother – working three jobs to take care of you, but it’s all I can do now, O.”

 

“Bellamy Blake, I am so proud and lucky to have you as my big brother. I wouldn’t ask for anyone else. Can you please just apply and look at the scholarships? And then we can talk about everything after. We can figure things out. I can help out around here. I can cook dinner and so you have time to study and Miller can take me to school and things if I need to and Clarke can too. She already said she would help! Please, Bell. Let us help you.”

 

Bellamy glanced over at Clarke and Octavia followed him to see tears in Clarke’s eyes and Clarke gave him the smallest nod.

 

“Dude, I’ve been telling you all of this for three years,” Miller said quietly. “You two are my family. When I said I wasn’t going anywhere, I meant it, Bellamy.”

 

Bellamy glanced over his shoulder at Miller and nodded, “Okay. Fine. I’ll apply and I’ll look into the scholarships and stuff. But no guarantees I will get in, so let’s not get our hopes up, okay?” Bellamy turned to Octavia at the last part and she nodded her head and threw her arms around Bellamy again. She caught Clarke’s grin over his shoulder and knew what it said because it seems Clarke Griffin knew everyone and she also worked part time in the admissions office of Ark U. Bellamy would get into college and Octavia was going to make damn sure he graduated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on [tumblr](thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com)!


	3. It's In The Stars, It's Who We Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I came up with this idea when I saw an interview an actor did while promoting a movie and they were discussing another actor that they had worked with previously. It’s partly based off real things that happened, but mostly made up for plot purposes.
> 
> Title from "In The Stars" by Icona Pop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys are interested and want to make it a little fun, you can try and guess who the people are. Leave a comment and if someone gets it right, I’ll do any prompt they want. Only hint I’ll give: Bellamy and Clarke are the two people from the interview. Everyone else is either someone from his or her public lives or someone I added in. 
> 
> Also, I'm working on part 2 of Brother (Doesn't Always) Know Best - this just sort of popped into my head and would't leave.
> 
> Not edited because I'm tired of writing really long one-shots. I should work on trying to keep them down to at least under 5k each.

Clarke Griffin became a household name after she got cast in a highly coveted role at the young age of 20. It was a young adult series based off a book about a girl who is the face of a revolution and saves her people from total destruction. It was a three part book and a four part movie and would change her life – so of course she was hesitate about accepting it, but it’s the kind of role you want to do. No matter how famous you’ll become after because what matters are the little girls who look up to this character and want to see it done justice and Clarke wanted to give it justice. She just didn’t realize how much it would change her life.

She was cast alongside two guys who each played possible love interests – Bellamy Blake and Wells Jaha. It was really awkward because over the course of filming she discovered how much she didn’t like Bellamy and how much she liked Wells, but it was more like a brother-sister relationship or platonic best friends. So it made filming really interesting. She probably would have liked Bellamy, except for his annoying girlfriend/fiancé. She still wasn’t sure if they were engaged or not. Roma never wore a ring, but always introduced herself as Bellamy’s fiancé and Clarke would have thought she was just desperate, but Bellamy introduced her as his fiancé too. It was extremely weird – they had been together for like four years and engaged for two.

However, when it came time to promote the first movie, things changed between her and Bellamy. He was fighting with Roma on the phone in between interviews and Clarke overheard it. She offered to listen if he wanted to talk and they spent the entire half hour break talking and she learned a lot about their relationship and Bellamy just in general. For as much of an asshole as he was, he was also a really good guy deep down and just wanted to find happiness. Clarke couldn’t fault him for that and so much changed that their panels at various comic cons were hilarious. Wells and Bellamy would gang up on her and tease her whenever she said or did something and it was just overall great. People were surprised by the amount of fun they all seemed to have. And then it went to hell.

When she began filming the first movie, she was still dating Finn Collins, asshole extraordinaire. Raven had warned her, but she said that it wasn’t the same and things would be different. It wasn’t.

Pictures of him with some other girl were all over the news two days before the big world premiere of the first movie. And not just like pictures of the two of them cuddling or getting cozy or god – even making out. No it was legitimately them having sex and someone filmed it and the screen shots from the video were all over. Finn of course was making it all about him – he was the victim here, who had his privacy violated and yada yada yada, but Clarke wasn’t stupid. Her reps got a copy of the video the day before the pictures were released and she could clearly see Finn looking at the camera at one point (and yes she watched the whole thing from start to finish because she’s a masochist at heart) and she knew it was staged. She was an actress – she knew a staged set when she saw one.

Two weeks before all of this went down, Clarke had told Finn things weren’t working out – they hadn’t actually broken up and Clarke wanted to fix things, but apparently Finn didn’t want to. He just wanted to humiliate her in front of the whole world. Raven took him to town – publicly. They had started on a TV show for kids growing up and dated briefly which no one knew about, but remained friends and more importantly family. That’s how Clarke and Finn met – through Raven who met Clarke at a Hollywood party when she was just starting out. Raven of course privately blamed herself and told Clarke she would understand if she hated her, but she couldn’t. 

The night before the big premiere everyone was in town already (Raven included because she was now Clarke’s plus one) and camped out in Wells’ hotel room because Clarke’s face the street where all the paparazzi were sitting and they kept screaming up to her every now and then asking her questions. It was driving her crazy and Raven was just pacing the room wanting to tell them all to go to hell. 

So now they were sitting here and Raven was telling Bellamy to go to hell because he wanted to beat the shit out of Finn and Wells was just sighing a lot and telling them that it wasn’t helping Clarke if they were arguing. Clarke didn’t honestly care. She just curled up on Wells bed and fell asleep because there was no way she was going to sleep with all those people yelling at her window.

The next morning, Clarke woke up to find Raven sleeping in the large bed with her and Wells asleep across the room on a couch that looked way to uncomfortable. Clarke glanced around the room rubbing sleep from her eyes when she heard the door open across the room and Bellamy poked his head in. Once he spotted her awake, he was about to enter and make his way over to her, but she shook her head and pushed her way past him and back down the hall to her room, Bellamy trailing behind. 

Clarke unlocked her room and flopped down on the bed, forgoing turning on the lights. It was still early and clearly someone got the paparazzi to quiet down.

“Someone called security and called to complain about all the noise around two am. The police made them move to the other side of the street.”

Clarke glanced up to see Bellamy standing near the window, but not close enough that he could be seen.

“Thanks.”

“Wasn’t me.”

“Really?”

“Yup,” Bellamy popped the ‘p’ and Clarke knew he was lying. 

“Whatever.”

They lapsed into silence before Bellamy spoke again, “So what are you going to do tonight?”

“No idea.”

“Have you talked to your publicist?”

“Kane’s talked. I didn’t listen.”

“Clarke.”

“Bellamy.”

They paused again, but this time Clarke broke the silence not wanting to talk about herself anymore, “Why isn’t Roma coming to the premiere?”

“Octavia is coming instead.”

“So I finally get to meet the infamous Octavia Blake?” Clarke grinned at the ceiling. 

“Yup,” Bellamy sighed deeply. “We’re fighting again.”

“I figured,” Clarke sighs and moves over on the bed just in time for Bellamy to plop down next to her.

“How did you know?”

“Because you’re one of the stars of the movie, Bellamy. You can get as many tickets as you want. It doesn’t have to be a choice of your sister or your fiancé.”

“So why didn’t you invite Raven and Finn?”

“Because I was trying to make an effort with Finn. He wanted to be more public about our relationship so I thought walking a carpet together would be good. He obviously didn’t think so.”

“It just doesn’t make sense,” Bellamy sighed. “You said you wanted to fix things. Why would he go and do this?”

“Probably because he knew I would compromise and walk more carpets with him, but I still wasn’t going to be all ‘oh my god, I love my boyfriend so much’ in all my interviews.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy said, but Clarke could tell he wasn’t agreeing with her.

Clarke kicked his foot with hers, “What?”

“Hmm?” Bellamy asked like he had been pulled from a thought.

“You don’t agree with me why Finn did this.” It wasn’t a question. “Why?”

Bellamy sighed again, “Before you got cast in this movie, everyone knew who Finn Collins was and they only had a passing knowledge of you. Now all of his fans know you not as Finn Collins’ girlfriend. He didn’t want you to be more famous then him?”

“Really?” Clarke raised an eyebrow, but turned to look at the ceiling again. It made sense – sort of. Finn got weirder as they got closer to the release of the movie and he didn’t seem as happy for her as everyone else was when she got cast.

“I think it’s the same with me and Roma,” Bellamy said quietly. “But different too.”

“Different how?”

“She’s changing. And it’s not that I’m not okay with that. I’m happy she’s growing, but I think we’re just growing in different directions. I want to be taken seriously as an actor and she’s exploring a different side of her as a singer and I want to support her – just some of the stuff she does is kind of ridiculous. Octavia’s the same age as her and she even thinks she’s kind of ridiculous.”

“Did you say any of that to her?”

“God, no. I like my balls.”

They both chuckled before Bellamy continued, “I’m really trying to be supportive, but she’s always like wanting to go out to party’s and meet people and I’m okay with that – within reason, but she wants to go out almost every night and drink until four am and I need to get up and be on set most mornings and she pouts when I don’t go with her and fights with me and tells me I don’t love her.” 

Bellamy scrubbed a hand down his face.

“She’s younger than you are, isn’t she?”

“Yes, what’s the problem with that? My sister is the same age as her and she’s married to a guy the same age as me. They’re trying to start a family.”

“Well, you’re sister didn’t grow up on some kids show and have to have a cookie cutter image. She was able to be rebellious at 18 and fall in love at 21. Roma fell in love at 18 and is trying to be rebellious at 21. She’s just had a different life and needs to have the same experiences as girls her age have in order to grow and mature.”

“God, that makes so much more sense,” Bellamy sighed. “None of this explains why Finn is the way he is.”

“No,” Clarke shook her head. “He didn’t grow up on a kids show. He grew up in the public eye, but his show was more of a family sitcom so he didn’t have to be so family friendly.”

“It still doesn’t excuse why she’s acting like she is.”

“No, but it does give you better insight on how to deal with it.”

“Yeah, it does. Thanks, Clarke.”

“No problem, Bell.”

“Y’know, I’m suppose to be helping you with your crisis.”

“I don’t have a crisis,” Clarke grinned at him. “I have an ass of an ex who thought he could humiliate me by cheating on me and then releasing everything to the world. Instead, I’m going to look like the poor girl who got her heart broken by a cheater and in a few days, my team’s source that sent us the video is going to release it so the whole world knows he filmed it himself and then cried wolf.”

“Damn. Don’t get on Clarke Griffin’s bad side,” Bellamy gave her a hand to high five and she did.

“Damn straight,” Clarke closed her eyes and let herself relax for a little while longer. 

The premiere was every bit of horribleness as she expected, but Bellamy and Wells were great. The two decided that the three of them would walk the carpet together and do joint interviews and because each reporter only had a few minutes to ask questions, they never really got around to the big question. They all tried to start with it; Bellamy was terrifying by himself, but adding in Wells. It quickly spread down the line that if you valued your life and your job as a red carpet reporter, you shouldn’t ask Clarke Griffin about Finn Collins. 

Clarke was able to hide out for a few months after the premiere. She was on set for another film playing the love interest to an actor ten years older than her, but that wasn’t the plot of the movie so it was the talk of the town that the director literally hired her for her acting skills and not for her age.

Clarke and Bellamy still talked a lot, but she hung out publically with Wells more. It was easier. Wells and Raven were having some weird flirtation thing so she just acted as the friend that they needed until they got their shit together and started dating. But Bellamy was more complicated because he was still having ups and downs with his fiancé, which were now publically known when Roma was spotted not wearing her engagement ring and out with a bunch of girlfriends in Vegas. 

Bellamy felt more comfortable talking things out with Clarke than anyone else because Octavia was biased and thought Roma was being the worst possible person in the world, Raven just wanted to hit someone since she couldn’t hit Finn, and the rest of Bellamy’s friends were guys and would just listen to him and say “that sucks, man.” 

And everything was looking good. Finn had become Public Enemy Number 1 and had tried to do multiple interviews claiming that he loved Clarke so much that he wasn’t thinking and just wanted to keep her, but none of it made sense. Clarke did an interview for the cover of a magazine while she was in Boston filming and talked about how it had hurt, but her friends had gotten her through it and it only made her realize that Finn wasn’t the person she thought he was.

Clarke and Raven had gone to New York Fashion Week while Clarke was on a break from filming and that’s where she met Lexa James, supermodel. The sex was great and Clarke knew it was nothing more than that. Lexa had recently split from her longtime girlfriend, Costia. The two were arguing over something stupid and Lexa was even more stubborn than Clarke so she broke it off with Costia and began having a very public affair with Clarke (who happened to be about ten years younger than Lexa) that lasted all the way until Clarke was back in L.A. after filming in Boston wrapped. But she never completely walked away from Costia and that would have gotten on Clarke’s nerves, if she didn’t know this was a fling.

However, it was really frustrating when she had her head between her girlfriend’s thighs when said girlfriend’s phone started ringing.

“Don’t get it,” Clarke recognized the ringtone for Costia and placed a hand over Lexa’s hips to keep her in place.

“Clarke,” Lexa said calmly (and how that woman could be so calm when Clarke had been teasing her so relentlessly that she was teetering on the edge). “I have to.”

“Lexa,” Clarke sighed, but allowed herself to be pushed aside. She was just really happy that it wasn’t Lexa eating her out – that would not have been fun. She laid on her back staring at the ceiling for a few minutes trying not to listen to Lexa talking to Costia before looking around for the shirt she had been wearing. Clarke quickly buttoned up the men’s flannel that she had been wearing before Lexa stripped her out of it and hunted down her phone. Once she found it, she had dialed Bellamy’s number without thinking and headed to the bathroom closing the door quietly and sitting on the countertop. 

“Hello?” Bellamy’s mumbled voice came through the line.

“So what does it mean when you’re going down on your girlfriend and her phone rings and she’s completely unaffected and able to take a phone call.”

“Well, it depends on what you’re more worried about.”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you upset that she took a call during sex or that she was able to take the call because she wasn’t in the throes of passion?”

Clarke paused before laughing loudly and then quickly covered her mouth to stifle the rest.

“Throes of passion, Bellamy? Really?”

“Shit. It’s this stupid film I’m working on. It’s all Victorian English and yeah, sorry – that was weird.”

“No,” Clarke smiled widely and caught her reflection in the mirror before turning her back on it again. “It was perfect.”

“You okay though?”

“Yeah, I mean – I know what we’re doing isn’t long term. That she’s never going to pick me over her, but it would be nice to know that I’m so good at eating girls out that they can’t even hear the phone ringing let alone able to answer it.” 

“I’m sorry you’re oral skills are lacking,” Bellamy deadpanned. “But isn’t she the first girl you’ve ever been with?”

“Publically, but I’ve been with other girls before I made it big. And they all loved my oral skills.”

Bellamy chocked out a laugh, “Okay, princess. I believe you.”

Clarke huffed and then her brain caught up to her, “Wait. Aren’t you suppose to be in London?”

“I am,” Bellamy said slowly.

“Shit. It’s like four in the morning there right now, isn’t it?”

“Probably. If I open my eyes, then I’ll never fall back to sleep.”

“Shit. I’m really sorry. I forgot. I shouldn’t have called.”

“Calm down, Clarke. It’s fine. I actually just got in a few hours ago and I have off for like the next two days.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What are your plans for your days off? Wait let me guess. You’re going to take a tour of all the historical landmarks like the Tower of London or something equally morbid.”

“You know it, princess.”

“Well, that’s stupid. I’m going to come visit you. I’ve got nothing going on. I’ll invite Raven and Wells too. Maybe Octavia and Lincoln can get off and we can rent a jet to fly out. Maybe Lexa can come too.”

Clarke could hear the smile in Bellamy’s voice when he next spoke, “Of course, whatever you want, princess.”

The door opened slowly and Clarke looked up to see Lexa leaning against the doorframe, an apologetic smile on her lips, but clear want in her eyes.

“Hey, Bell? I gotta go, but I’ll call everyone and we’ll try and come out there – if not, it will just be me and you, okay?”

“Okay, Clarke. See you soon.” The line went dead and Clarke placed her phone on the counter as Lexa stalked forward and ran her hands up Clarke’s bare thighs.

“Now, I believe I owe you an apology,” Lexa said softly as Clarke slid down onto her feet and Lexa’s hands slid further up Clarke’s body under the flannel and up so she could palm Clarke’s breasts.

“I believe you do,” Clarke said quietly as Lexa dropped to her knees and Clarke let her head fall back and tried not to think about how she was a part of Lexa and Costia’s circle – their phone calls always ending in a fight and Lexa was best at angry sex.

Clarke flew out to see Bellamy with Raven and Wells. Octavia and Lincoln had regular people jobs in L.A. and couldn’t get the time off short notice so the four of them took Bellamy’s morbid tour before spending the afternoon hitting up all the museums. Clarke didn’t bother inviting Roma since the two were off again, but officially still on in the public’s eyes.

It’s only a few weeks later that Lexa and Clarke fizzle out and Lexa is back in the arms of Costia. Clarke isn’t too broken up about it because at the same time her and Raven start a new project together – creating something that will showcase female friendships how they really are and not how they should be. They’re looking at top named female directors to help and studios run by women execs to back their script and it’s everything Clarke wanted to do with her fame.

Clarke, Bellamy, and Wells continue to work on their post- apocalyptic young adult movie. They finished the second movie and are promoting it when the news comes out that Bellamy and Roma are done for good. Bellamy had told Clarke before they started the press tour – almost as soon as it happened, but Bellamy had asked Roma to hold off on announcing it until after the movie premiered so he wouldn’t have to deal with the fault out. Roma decided to make the announcement right in the middle of the tour and then blamed Bellamy for it.

“I can’t believe her. Why would she do this? I would never do this while she was promoting an album or something. This is just so way over the line,” Bellamy paced back and forth in Clarke’s hotel room while Clarke sat cross-legged on the bed.

“It does seem weird. She agreed with you to wait and if she really wanted to hurt you she could have done it right at the beginning. Why wait until we’re half way done?”

“Because she got pissed about something stupid and rather than talk about it to me – she went and told the whole world.”

“What did she get pissed about?”

“She thinks we’re sleeping together and that’s why she said that.”

Clarke started to laugh because it’s not like she hadn’t thought about it – Bellamy was hot and he had a really, really nice body, but he was always engaged and it felt creepy. Then this last press tour, he was single, but no one else knew it – not even Wells or Raven and it still felt creepy.

“Exactly,” Bellamy pointed at her. “That’s what I told her. It was crazy.”

Clarke raised on eyebrow silently.

“Ok, it’s not completely crazy. I mean you’re attractive. I’m attractive. We’re in the business of attractive people. If I slept with every girl I was attracted to, I would be labeled the Hollywood whore.”

Clarke started laughing again, “Hollywood whore?! That’s priceless, Bellamy.”

“Whatever,” Bellamy grumbled before collapsing back on to the bed, but Clarke stayed sitting because his words caught up to her and she didn’t want him to see her face turning red. 

Once she felt her face had calmed, she leaned back to lay side by side with him.

“So what are you going to do?” Clarke asked quietly.

“I have no idea,” Bellamy said tiredly.

Clarke knew Bellamy didn’t have to worry because just like when Clarke needed him, Clarke was there for him and she roped Wells in too. They directed all questions to his publicist, but made sure he answered at least one about the break up so he didn’t look like he was running and honestly, Clarke may be biased, but she thinks he came out looking better for it. (Especially since Roma was spotted a week later with some up can coming rapper, as she had decided to take a more hip hop approach to her music, and it later came out that he was only using her for fame.) 

The studio decided to film the third and fourth movie back to back since so many of its stars were now big stars in their own right and it made scheduling a lot easier. Clarke went to be almost every night happily exhausted. She was said to see something end that had been a part of her life for so long, but was happy to see how amazing it was and how much the fans would love it. Their wrap party was pretty much everyone crying and saying how they just had to stay in touch and hold reunions every year or so. Many of them never got the college experience, but with so many of them close to that age, it had felt like college with your awesome hip professor who had no problem going out for drinks after you wrapped up for the day.

Clarke knew that while most of them would remain only “red carpet” friends, she would be determined to keep at least Wells and Bellamy. It helped that Wells was dating Raven in everything, but name and well, she was sort of in love with Bellamy so it wasn’t a surprise that she would keep him. She noticed a switch in their relationship while they were filming the last two movies. They were always tactile with each other and would comfortably cuddle, but things got more intense as filming got closer to the end. Bellamy would throw an arm around her shoulder and she would wrap both arms around his waist while they were standing in between takes. While walking through crowds, Bellamy always placed a hand on the small of her back to guide her, but now he would just grab her hand and drag her with him.

So it didn’t surprise her when she found out from Monty and Jasper that the rest of the cast had a bet about when they would finally get together. What surprised her was when she saw Lincoln’s name down for the day of the world premiere of the last movie – which was about two years away. It wasn’t the date that surprised her because some people had picked dates further down the road, but that it was Lincoln. Lincoln always seemed above it all, but not in a snobby way; more of a ‘you’re all so funny, but I’m just going to let these two people live their lives without any interference.’ In fact, he said that to her when the Monty and Miller bet started.

After they finished the last two movies, Clarke decided to take some time off. She had worked consistently for the last five years and deserved some time to herself. It only took about two weeks for that to become boring and she found herself following her friends around. Raven had to fly to New York for an event, Clarke went with her. Wells was going to the White House Correspondence Dinner, where his dad was hosting, Clarke was his date. Octavia had a work function where she was organizing a fundraiser for the kids from foster homes that she taught self-defense classes to and Clarke decided to surprise the kids and hang out with them. Monty decided to really try DJing and got asked to Coachella, Clarke tagged along with Harper and Fox and dressed in their girliest festival clothes and paraded around the desert. 

A few months passed quickly and then Clarke got the opportunity to work with a director that she worked with previously and loved on a film that she felt was amazing. Shortly after filming wrapped, her and Raven’s script got picked up by a studio who was spearheaded by one of the most supportive and terrifying execs ever – Indra Woods. She was great in making sure they got everything they wanted as Executive Producers on the film and even got the most awesome and kickass director, Maya Vie, to sign up. 

Everything was going good until the night before the world premiere of the last film. Clarke and the rest of the cast were back in New York and she was nervous. She tried not to think about Lincoln’s name on that list over the last two years, but it was hard since it was the same day she would have bet if it were her. That’s thought is what pushed her to knock on Bellamy’s door late that night. 

“Hey,” Bellamy opened the door cautiously before stepping aside to let her in. He was wearing a rumpled t-shirt and sweats that hung really low on his hips.

“Did I wake you?” Clarke glanced around the room that was semi-dark except for the few lights leading from his bed to the door.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” Bellamy smirked at her.

“Something like that.”

“What’s wrong?” Bellamy placed a hand on her back and pulled her closer to him as he walked towards the couch in the adjoining sitting area.

“Did you know Jasper and Monty organized a bet on when we would get together?” Clarke had sat down facing him before her question because she wanted to see his reaction and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw him shift in his seat and look away. If there were any lighter in the room, she would also confirm that he was blushing, but just for now she had to guess she was right.

Bellamy cleared his throat, “Yeah. I think O mentioned something about it.”

“Well, I saw the list.”

“And?”

“How did you get Lincoln to bet on the day of the world premiere?”

“Why do you think I got Lincoln to do that?”

Clarke gave him an unimpressed look and even in the lack of lighting, she knew he could read her face. 

“I told him he owed me since I didn’t throw a major fit over him asking Octavia to marry him.”

Clarke laughed and shook her head, “Why did you want to place a bet anyway?”

“Because that was the night I was going to tell you I loved you and I figured I might as well make some money off our friends if you felt the same way.”

Clarke smiled and ducked her head forgetting that it was dark and he most likely couldn’t see her blush.

“But now we have a problem.” Clarke reached out and took his hand in hers.

“Oh really?” Bellamy raised an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah. Now you have to wait twenty-four hours to hear my answer,” Clarke waggled her eyebrows and Bellamy shook his head laughing before he leaned in and kissed her softly.

“I think I can wait twenty-four hours.”

“Since you’re a very patient man,” Clarke flung one leg over his and slid into his lap. “I guess I can make an exception.”

Bellamy’s hands gripped her hips and he smiled up at her, “Or is it the fact that you just realized it’s after midnight and technically the next day?”

“Both,” Clarke leaned down to kiss him deeper and Bellamy ran a hand up under her shirt causing her to shiver. She could feel his stupid grin against her lips so she raked her fingernails against his scalp causing him to moan and she bit his lower lip.

“Not fair,” Bellamy pulled back and rested his forehead against her forehead.

“What’s not fair?”

“Now I have to spend all of tomorrow night pretending I don’t want to kiss you.”

Clarke laughed, “I’ve been pretending that for the last two years.”

Bellamy grinned, “Only the last two years? I’ve been closer to three.”

“Bellamy Blake!” Clarke swatted at his chest. “You were engaged three years ago.”

Bellamy looked sheepish before pulling her closer to him, “I was publically engaged three years ago and privately broken up because I fell in love with my best friend.”

“Is that why – “

“Yeah,” Bellamy ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck while still keeping one arm around Clarke. “I realized that I didn’t want to keep making things work with Roma because it was always so much easier with you and we were only friends. I don’t just want to sleep with you or date you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Are you proposing? Because I’m all for the whole skipping the first date thing in our case, but I think skipping the whole dating process, might be a little too much.”

“No, I’m not proposing. I’m just letting you know what my intentions are.”

Clarke nodded and looked away from Bellamy.

“It’s okay if you’re not there yet. I don’t expect you to be. I just want you to know. I’m not the type to just fuck around – at least not with you.”

Clarke grinned and turned back to look at him, “I don’t want to fuck around with you either. I’m all in. And just so you know, I want to spend the rest of my life with you too.”

“Oh, good. Here, I thought I would have some time to win you over, but you’re already there. No wooing required.”

“You, Bellamy Blake, are going to woo the crap out of me. Understand?”

“Yes, princess. So bossy,” Bellamy pushed her down so her back was on the couch and he was hovering over her. “I like it.”

They decided not to tell anyone the next day until after the premiere (they were still holding out for that money and there was a good chance that someone might not abide by the midnight rule and disagree with them). They were able to say they got drunk at the after party and confessed their feelings that night before having insanely hot sex (well the insanely hot sex was right, they just skipped the alcohol since they didn’t trust themselves to keep to themselves, they still didn’t want the world to know about them yet). 

“Oh my god!” Octavia screeched when they told everyone and ran to hug her brother and Clarke simultaneously before turning to Monty. “Okay, so who won the bet?”

“That’s it,” Clarke shook her head. “I figured there would be more excitement or something.”

“Calm your horses, Griffin,” Raven shot her a pointed look. “We’ll be excited when we see who won.”

“I’m trying, Octavia!” Monty snapped. “The Internet sucks here and I’m having a hard time connecting to my Google Drive. Okay, okay. I got it… And the winner is… Drum roll, Jasper… Lincoln?”

“What?” Miller turned to look at the stoic man sitting in the corner shaking his head.

“Yes!” Octavia shouted. “What’s mine is yours, bitches!”

“No,” Lincoln shook his head slowly. “Sorry, Octavia. I was a cover for the real person.”

“And that person is?” Jasper asked.

“Me,” Bellamy said smugly.

“What?!” Raven started shaking her head. “No, that’s cheating. You can’t bet on yourselves. You rigged it obviously.” Wells shook his head, more at Raven’s rant than in agreement.

“See, that was my original intention, but I didn’t make the first move. So therefore, I didn’t rig it.”

“Wait, what?” Jasper asked dumbfounded.

“I made the first move. Although, you should probably do better hiding your bet list. I saw it and I knew Lincoln would never make a bet so I figured it was Bellamy’s and I went to talk to him the night of the premiere.” 

“Really?” Raven raised one eyebrow. “You, Clarke Griffin, who is scared of her own feelings confronted them head on.”

“I had liquid courage,” Clarke shrugged and Bellamy wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

“So, where’s our money?” Bellamy deadpanned. 

“Fuck this!” Miller jumped to his feet and ran from the room. “I’m not turning over any money to a bunch of cheaters.” He could be heard running down the hall.

Monty sighed, “I figured something like this would happen. That’s why I took the money from him, but I left it back in L.A. so I’ll get it to you then. He’s still a little bit upset about the previous bet.” Monty’s cheeks were a bit pink at the mention of the bet about his own relationship.

Clarke and Bellamy were able to keep their relationship a secret for six months, until Clarke got tired of hiding. A lot of people were rooting for Bellamy and Clarke to become a real couple outside of their movie, they got asked questions about each other often. Clarke was doing the last interview for her next big movie after they started dating and decided to just answer the question. Bellamy wasn’t coming to walk the red carpet with her because he was on location and they weren’t that couple so it would be easy to answer the question and then continue to hide out until it all died down – professionally it was timed perfectly, but personally, Clarke just wanted to tell the world that he was hers and she was his.

“So Clarke, thank you again for stopping by. However, we just have one more question for you,” Monroe smiled from her seat facing Clarke’s.

“Of course, ask away,” Clarke could feel how forced her smile was at this point – she probably pulled a muscle in her cheek.

“Everyone wants to know what it was like on the film that brought you so many opportunities. You literally got to kiss these two gorgeous guys, Wells Jaha and Bellamy Blake, almost every day. What was it like?”

“Awkward,” Clarke laughed politely and gave the standard answer about how weird it was to kiss Wells and Bellamy in front of like thirty people and how staged it all was in general.

“Well, then. We all know Wells is now dating your best friend, but Bellamy is still very much single. Has any of that awkwardness turned into practice for real life?”

“Yeah,” Clarke shrugged. “Bellamy’s a pretty great kisser so when the last movie premiered I was just like – this has been fun, let’s keep doing this and now we’re dating so we get to make out all the time. It’s awesome.”

Monroe’s jaw dropped and everyone in the studio froze, but Clarke knew they were out of time and Monroe stuttered out a quick ‘that’s great and now we have to go to commercial’. Clarke grinned and thanked Monroe again and accepted her congratulations before walking off set with Kane, who just shook his head and handed her her cell phone.

“Hey there, handsome,” Clarke smiled into the phone.

“You just love to be dramatic, don’t you, princess?” 

Clarke could hear the smirk in his voice.

“You know you love me,” Clarke grinned back as Kane ushered her out of the building and the fans’ screams could be heard from across the street. Clarke offered a wave and a smile, but slipped into the waiting car.

“Yeah, I do, princess. I really do.”


	4. Secret Santa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: I saw an Xmas prompt where Person a (Clarke) gives person b a really sentimental/personal secret Santa gift but doesn't want them to find out bc they supposedly hate each other, which I liked a lot but now it's past Xmas you can change it to a more general/non-holiday present/gesture (or a new chapter of yours bc I love it). Thanks so much!!
> 
> Prompt from [emilieaj45](http://archiveofourown.org/users/emilieaj45/pseuds/emilieaj45)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year Everyone!!! I got this posted with 5 mins left in 2015 so it counts as a New Years Eve post!
> 
> It's slightly different because in my excitement at the great prompt, I didn't read the part about hating each other, but I think I brought it in a little vaguely. 
> 
> Not edited or betad or every read before posting.

Clarke loved Christmas. It had been sad for a few years after her dad died, but then she remembered how much he loved Christmas and the most important part was spending time with loved ones so Clarke makes sure to carry on those traditions for her dad.

Over the last few years, Clarke and her group of friends has exchanged Christmas gifts in an epic Secret Santa exchange that has exploded over the years with everyone trying to out do each other, but also trying to keep everything a secret. Clarke has become legendary in the Secret Santa exchange – even if no one knows it’s her. All of her friends call her “The Santa” and try to guess who will get “The Santa” each year.

However, with such a large group of friends who celebrate different holidays (Jasper decided a few years ago that he was going to start celebrating Kwanza in addition to Christmas because well – he’s Jasper, what more do you expect) it’s hard to coordinate exchanging gifts close to Christmas. This year Hanukah landed before Christmas and Maya celebrates and Jasper’s Kwanza started the day after Christmas and ends on New Year’s Day. When Octavia pointed out that Jasper wouldn’t be able to attend her New Year’s Eve bash, he decided that he could take a night off from celebrating to attend. 

So that left their group of friends exchanging Secret Santa gifts on New Year’s Eve before Octavia’s big party. And for the first time in years, Clarke was dreading it.

It all started about five years ago when Octavia’s brother moved back to Ark after getting his Master’s at Mount Weather University. That Christmas Clarke got stuck with the eldest Blake as her Secret Santa and they were not even close to being friends. In fact, Bellamy just always knew what exact buttons to push to get her so angry that every time they met it ended in a screaming match. So that year Clarke got Bellamy a lump of coal for Christmas and everyone knew exactly who Bellamy’s Secret Santa was (it broke her streak of anonymity for the last three years). So Clarke was not happy to get the eldest Blake again – especially now that she was in love with him.

Let’s back track. About three years ago, Clarke had been dating Finn for almost a year when his fiancé Raven returned from a year of studying abroad and Finn was just an asshole who thought everyone loved him and Clarke and Raven would fight over him and he would just get the winner. Well, Clarke and Raven ended up fighting him and kept each other, but before that Clarke turned up at Octavia’s apartment looking for her and found Bellamy instead. He sat and let her cry on his shoulder until Octavia came home then disappeared. The next day when Clarke saw Finn he had a black eye and a broken nose. Clarke typically didn’t condone violence, but it was nice to see Bellamy cared enough to beat up a guy for his sister’s best friend.

Then about two years ago, Clarke was dating Lexa and things seemed to be going great and then one day they weren’t and Lexa ended things. Clarke was really confused and it wasn’t until a month later did Lexa finally answer one of her messages and offered to meet up and explain. Lexa told her that she had her one true love in a girl named Costia who died when they were younger and with Clarke she had thought she had found another, but as it turns out, Clarke wasn’t because Clarke already had her other half. Clarke didn’t understand it, but Lexa said she would one day.

And Clarke did; about three days after her conversation with Lexa when she was sitting on Bellamy’s couch. Octavia had since moved out, but Bellamy had never bothered to get a roommate and Clarke often spent her time hanging out with him. Sometime between giving Bellamy coal for Christmas and then, Clarke and Bellamy had become best friends. Yes, she still had Octavia and Raven, but when she was sad and needed cheering up she went to Bellamy. When she was happy and wanted to share her happiness, she went to Bellamy. When she wanted to relax and just enjoy being with someone, she went to Bellamy. Somewhere along the line, Clarke fell in love with him and she’s pretty sure he still just thinks of her as a friend (she’s happy to be upgraded from little sister’s best friend, but he still says Miller is his best friend).

So for the last two years, Clarke had realized she’s in love with her best friend who doesn’t even think of her as his best friend – it’s all very middle school, but it has become Clarke’s life.

That’s why this year when Clarke pulls Bellamy’s name out of Octavia’s old Santa hat she panics. No one knows how she feels about Bellamy so she can’t discuss it with Raven or Wells or god, Octavia would be a nightmare (not that she wouldn’t be supportive, in fact she would be the opposite and would spend all her time trying to get her brother to see Clarke as something more and that would just be embarrassing).

It would be easy to get Bellamy another lump of coal and keep with the tradition, but she knows exactly what he needs (not wants) and if she gets it, everyone will know. So Clarke gets a lump of coal and the more sentimental gift and wraps both, but still had no idea which one she’ll put under Bellamy’s Christmas tree (Octavia may be throwing it, but it’s always at Bellamy’s house) where they all leave their gifts over the course of the holidays to open together. And now it’s New Year’s Eve and she’s sitting outside Bellamy’s house with both gifts in the passenger seat and not a clue on which one to take.

She’s startled out of her contemplation when Bellamy knocks on her driver’s side door and she rolls down the window to look at him.

“Princess, what are you doing sitting out here?”

“Just thinking.”

“I can see that,” Bellamy reaches over and rubs the crease between her eyebrows. “You’re suppose to have fun. You already did all your perfect daughter duties for the holidays and now you can relax. So come on.” Bellamy opens her door and stands there holding it until she grabs her gift and allows him to pull her out of the car and towards his house.

“That your Secret Santa gift?” Bellamy asks.

“Yup,” Clarke looks down and adjusts the package so he can’t see his name on it. A few years ago, they bought gift wrap in bulk so everyone had to use the same wrapping paper to keep things indistinguishable (and religiously appropriate) and they may or may not also require everyone to use the same size box to avoid any guesswork (they go all out on the “secret” part of Secret Santa, okay?).

“Great,” Bellamy pulls open his front door and let’s her in first before heading straight to the kitchen. Clarke heads over to the tree and notices everyone’s gifts are under there and purposely hides hers in the back. 

Once everyone arrives, Jasper’s enthusiasm for gifts is not to be held back and soon everyone is seated around the Christmas tree and Octavia begins handing out gifts one by one. Clarke’s leg bounces all through opening her own present and watching every one else so much that Wells places a hand on her knee to stop her from bouncing.

Finally, Octavia calls out Bellamy’s name and Clarke feels like she’s going to throw up. The box gets passed around the room until it reaches Bellamy and Clarke knows she made a mistake.

Bellamy carefully unwraps the gift and removes the top of the box before digging through all of the tissue paper Clarke put there to protect it. Clarke knows the exact moment when Bellamy sees the gift because he stops moving and just stares at it.

“Let’s see, let’s see,” Jasper bounces excitedly.

Bellamy silently pulls the picture frame out of the box and shows everyone the old picture of Aurora and her two children taken when Bellamy was ten and Octavia was five. Bellamy had a wallet size version of the same picture that he’s carried around in wallet for years, but the 5x7 got lost in all of the moves Bellamy’s made over the years. Clarke stole the wallet size and took it to a photo shop where they blew the picture up to an 8x10 and then framed it. Clarke was a little nervous about the size (it seemed too pretentious for Bellamy, but then she realized that he always admired the picture Clarke’s mom has of her and her parents taken when she was little because he said it was a family portrait and that was something he always wanted with his family – he was talking about a wife and kids, but Clarke can’t give him that so he gets this instead). 

“Oh my god, Bell, is that – “ Octavia covers her mouth with her hands.

“Yeah,” Bellamy’s Adam’s apple bobs. 

“That’s beautiful, Bellamy,” Maya smiles as she leans in closer.

“Mom couldn’t afford the bigger picture so she got a smaller one and some wallets. We lost the larger one and most of the wallets over the years. I still had mine. That’s this, but bigger.”

“It looks like someone had the wallet blown up,” Lincoln points to a small line running through the corner. “That’s a crease.”

“Wow,” Monty says awed. “The Santa strikes again.”

Clarke watches Bellamy as he stares at the picture in silence and everyone waits for him. When he realizes they are all staring, he clears his throat and places the picture in his lap.

“Thanks, guys. It’s – it’s amazing,” Bellamy says quietly and the rest of the group nods.

“Last one,” Octavia pulls a present out for Lincoln, who gets a new paint set, but Clarke is barely paying attention.

When the gift giving is over, everyone disperses to get more drinks or finish getting the food ready before the rest of the guests arrive. Clarke is leaving the bathroom when she walks past Bellamy’s open door to find him sitting on his bed staring at the picture again.

“Hey,” Clarke pushes the door open more. “You okay?”

“What? Yeah,” Bellamy places the picture down on his desk. “I was just trying to think where to hang it. It would be weird in here, right?”

“Yeah,” Clarke smiles. “You could try the dining room or the living room. I can help you with it tomorrow, if you want.” Clarke may have picked out the frame so it would match his living room couch where it can hang over.

“That would be great. Thanks, Clarke,” Bellamy presses a kiss to the top of her head before passing her and heading to the rest of the party.

Clarke takes a deep breath and allows herself to enjoy the fact that she brought him so much joy and while he’ll never know it was her, at least how she feels about him will still be kept a secret.

Clarke enjoys the rest of the party and spends time with all of her closest friends, as well as some who aren’t that close. Her mother and her new boyfriend even stop by on their way to a big party thrown by the Mayor. 

Octavia turns the music down around five minutes to midnight and everyone crowds around the TV to watch the ball drop in Times Square. Clarke is standing to the right of Wells who has been playing to make a move on Raven since Thanksgiving and Clarke is not missing out on getting a picture of this – just so she can use it as blackmail against Raven latter. 

“Okay everyone!” Octavia shouts even though it’s not that loud – she may be a bit past tipsy. Thankfully, Lincoln is making his way towards her. “Get next to your nearest and dearest because it’s go time, bitches!”

Clarke feels people jostling and then a warm solid presence appears on her right, but she’s trying to pull her camera app up and focused on that and counting down so she doesn’t look to see who it is.

“Okay! Ready! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” Everyone shouts excitedly and just as Clarke raises her phone up to catch Wells and Raven (who spun around and planted a big one on Wells before he even go the chance) someone wraps an arm around her waist and spins her into their chest.

“Oh,” Clarke feels the air leave her lungs as warm, soft lips descend on hers. She quickly opens her eyes (which closed with all the spinning – she’s a little bit pasted tipsy too) to see freckles across cheekbones. 

Bellamy starts to pull away and Clarke is too stunned to stop him.

“Happy New Year, princess. And thanks for my gift.”

“What? How?” Clarke squeaks.

“Besides for Octavia, no one knew about that picture. And I really just wanted to kiss you.”

“Really?” Clarke looks up to see a blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Um, yeah,” Bellamy steps back and Clarke instinctually follows him while he glances down and rubs the back of his neck. “I was really hoping that you’re gift meant – nothing. Never mind.”

“Bellamy,” Clarke grabs his arm and holds him in place so he can’t leave. “It meant that I really love you and not just as a best friend, which I know your mine and Miller is yours, and god, this all just sounds so middle school, but I like you.”

“Oh thank god, because I’ve been in love with you for I don’t even know how long,” Bellamy slides a hand into her hair and pulls her close again. “And just for the record, you are my best friend – I don’t care how middle school it is.”

Clarke surges up on her toes and Bellamy leans down and just as their lips touch, she vaguely hears cheering and clapping and maybe even some wolf whistles, but she doesn’t care – until she sees a flash go off and starts to laugh. She pulls away and can see Bellamy chase her lips, but she turns to see Raven holding up her phone and showing off a picture of them kissing (it ends up being a great picture and Raven took it for blackmail, but Clarke puts it all over social media so it sort of backfires). 

Later that night, when Clarke is falling asleep in Bellamy’s arms she asks the question that was plaguing her all night.

“Why didn’t you say anything when we did the gift exchange? Why did you wait until midnight?”

Bellamy is twirling a piece of her hair absentmindedly, “Well if you didn’t feel the same way, I could use it as a simple thank you kiss. Also, I didn’t want to give it away that you were The Santa. I know you pride yourself on that accomplishment.”

Clarke sits up and spins to face him, “You knew I was The Santa?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy shrugs. “Don’t worry. No one else knows. You’re secret is safe with me.”

Clarke slaps his chest playfully, “Not what I was asking, dumbass. How did you know I was The Santa?”

“Well, five years ago, you gave me coal and I knew it was you, but it was also like the perfect wakeup call that I had been treating you pretty shitty, so I decided to start being nicer and then four years ago, Octavia got that toy doll that she always wanted as a kid, but we could never afford. Three years ago, you paid for Raven to come to the cabin with you, Wells, Octavia and me for the winter break because she didn’t have a family to go home to. Two years ago, you gave Miller mistletoe, but made sure you switched seats with Monty right before he opened it so they would have to kiss. Then last year, you got Wells that hard to find biography of Clarence Darrow that he had been looking for all year, but was out of print everywhere. I just put two and two together. You always get people what they need and it started with me needing to get a lump of coal.”

Clarke grins before curling back into his side, “I’m sorry about the coal.”

“Don’t be,” Bellamy places a kiss on her forehead. “It was my favorite gift ever. I still have it.”

“You do?” Clarke laughs.

“Of course. I have everything you’ve ever given me.”

Clarke smiles to herself, “I’m not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but I love you too.”

“I figured. That was a pretty epic gift you gave me.”

“You’re welcome.” 

“Merry Christmas, Clarke, and a happy New Year.”

“Merry Christmas, Bell, and a happy New Year, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think, in either kudos or comments, I accept both :)
> 
> Send me prompts over on [tumblr](thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com)!


	5. You Probably Think This Song Is About You, Don't You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts: “this is so unfair there’s this song getting popular and the singer sounds like you and all these lyrics almost sound like they could be about me but you’re singing about lost love and you weren’t in love with me wait I’m watching the music video and crying and hey that’s definitely you wtf” au
> 
> AND
> 
> “you’re famous and just got asked if you were ever in love this should be good – WAIT WHAT” au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what this is. Let’s just go with it.

“Oh, listen to this new band I just found. They’re really good. They’re called The Delinquents or something,” Raven reached over and started fiddling with Clarke’s radio and connected her own iPhone so she could play the album. “They’ve apparently been around for a while. This is like their second album, but they’ve mostly been on the underground scene so I’m playing catch up." 

Clarke smiled at that because Raven has never had to play catch up when it comes to music. She’s like a music god and finds all these unique and unknown bands and can sometimes even call it when they’re going to make it big and apparently this new band is teetering on the brink and will be everywhere soon – according to Raven.

“Are they actually delinquents or is it all an image thing?” Clarke asked as the opening rifts of a lone guitar starts.

“I think like half and half. The drummer looks like he would never survive in juvie, but I think the bassist has an actual record, but has probably never spent time in jail. It doesn’t matter because wait until you hear the singer and wait until you see him. He is like God’s gift to all women and I would literally fuck him in a heartbeat if I ever ran into anywhere – even in a church.”

“And what about Wells?” Clarke smirked.

“Wells understands. And said he would fuck him if he went the other way so we’re all good.”

“How do you know he wouldn’t be into guys or both? That’s awfully presumptuous considering both of you have a best friend who is bi.”

“He writes all of their songs and all he sings about on this album is a girl he loved in high school, but they ended like really badly and it’s just heartbreaking – like if he ever pulled a Taylor Swift and made it more obvious about who the girl was she would probably be murdered by one of their groupies. Shh, just listen.”

And Clarke did. The first song was all about struggling through high school – having the grades, but not money or really the desire. How he spent more time in his room with his guitar than at parties with his best friend. The next song moved into how he fell in love young and didn’t know what it was, but all he knew is he wanted to be the knight in shining armor that saved the princess with the bluest blue eyes. The next song was about a loss so deep and personal that Clarke feels it in the part of her soul where she feels her dad’s loss still and the singer continues on about having to pick an angel up when she fell and needing to find a strength in himself to be the wings that the angel lost.

Every song spoke to Clarke in a way that she couldn't really understand and by the time the album finished, Clarke was in tears and Raven was looking at her confused so Clarke blamed it on PMS – which Raven and her both knew was a lie, but they went with it.

Clarke shook it off until the next day when she was sitting alone in her and Raven’s apartment and needed to work on a paper for her degree in art therapy and looked up The Delinquents to find their album on iTunes and download it.

It was around two in the morning when she was listening to “The Only Girl I Ever Loved” which talked about a high school girlfriend being perfect and everything he needed at the time, but then he screwed it up by pushing her away because he was scared that she was going to her big fancy school and he was stuck in Small Town, U.S.A. and could never hold a candle to the people she would meet and a verse in particular stuck out to her.

_She was beautiful and perfect and mine_

_And I screwed it up and she left_

_But not before she said to me_

_‘We could have been everything_

_And now we’ll have nothing’_

_I didn’t know then how true her words were_

_And she’s the only girl I ever loved_

Clarke said those exact same words to her high school boyfriend. The boy next door who became her best friend then became too cool for her then became the asshole in her history class then became the older brother of the little girl who was left home alone most nights so Clarke would stay with her then became the boy who called her princess with less and less acid who then became the person to pick her up when her dad died who then became the only person she wanted to be around and then finally became the boy she thought she could love forever until he broke her heart.

She couldn’t believe it. It couldn’t be him. She went back and listened to the album again while she scoured photos of the band, but most of their album covers had obscure artwork on them and not actual pictures. But then she heard that first song and buried somewhere in the second verse was the answer when he sang _my sister, my responsibility_.

Bellamy Blake.

She hadn’t heard that name since she got drunk her first month at college and poured her heart out to her freshman roommate, Raven. Raven – she said she saw a picture of him and why didn’t Wells recognize him. She wasn’t really thinking when she dialed Raven’s number even though the sun was peeking up over the horizon.

“Clarke?” Raven mumbled. “What’s wrong? Is the apartment on fire?”

“No, no. Raven, you said you and Wells saw a picture of the leader singer of The Delinquents?”

“Yeah,” Raven sounded confused. “Why are you calling me at five in the morning to ask about this? It couldn’t have waited.”

“I need you to send me that picture. Whatever picture it was.”

“It wasn’t a picture. It was the music video for one of their older songs.”

“Which one?”

“I don’t remember the name of it. Just type in _The Delinquents music video_ and it should pop up. Is everything okay?”

“I have no idea,” Clarke hung up and pulled up YouTube and typed in the information. The very first video was an older behind the scenes video of the band while they performed at different shows and some down time in between shows. It seemed to be done by an amateur, but was really good. Clarke clicked play and watched as her high school boyfriend came on the screen to sing about the system and how it’s built to keep people down. The song was so full of anger and hurt it brought tears to her eyes to see him in so much pain.

When the video ended, Clarke looked at the date and it was posted about two years after they broke up and the little bit of information that accompanied the video stayed that it was written out of anger for an unfair world where the one percent pushed everyone down and how people who weren’t wealthy always had to work and fight for everything they wanted from jobs, money, homes, even to love. And that’s when Clarke knew that he wrote this around the time they broke.

Clarke shook her head and pulled up Instagram and Twitter and Facebook and all over social media – there he is. The leader singer of The Delinquents. Murphy's there too as the bassists and Miller is the lead guitarist and Jasper – sweet and crazy Jasper is on drums. All of her high school friends that were really Bellamy’s and she lost when they broke up are there. She kept digging and realized Monty must be their tech and AV guy and Octavia is in a lot of pictures, but she also seems to be taking most and she’s listed as management.

She couldn’t believe it. They did what they always said they would do. And she was so happy for them.

Clarke didn’t realize she was crying until the apartment door opened and Raven and Wells came in looking for her.

“Clarke, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Raven slide down to sit next to her on the floor and wrapped Clarke in her arms. Wells sat on her other and started reading an older Tumblr post that was clearly written by Octavia about the band working on their second album.

“Oh my god,” Wells said and began to read out loud. “ _The Delinquents are busy at work on their second album. This album will be different in sound and style then their previous album and EPs, but don’t worry, guys! Bellamy is still writing it so you’ll love it just as much as you love the rest of their songs!_ ”

“How did I miss this before?” Wells said quietly as he scrolled to a selfie Octavia took of her and Bellamy.

“Missed what?” Raven leaned over to look at the screen. “Yeah, we discussed this guy. It’s the lead singer." 

“The lead singer named Bellamy Blake,” Wells watched Clarke as she tried to calm her tears.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Raven shook her head and slammed the laptop shut. “I’m so sorry, Clarke. I shouldn’t have told you about them.”

“You didn’t know,” Clarke said quietly. “I think I’m just going to go and get some sleep.”

“Okay,” Wells helped her to her feet and she could feel her friends watching her leave.

Clarke woke up a few hours later and decided she wasn’t going to sit around and mope about her high school boyfriend who she broke up with over six years ago. Part of her still wanted to reach out to him and tell him how much of an asshole he was because all these years she thought he didn’t love her like she loved him since he was able to walk away so easily, but the other part of her – the part that was really angry – wanted to be some what vindictive and not let him have the satisfaction of her knowing he wrote an entire album about her. Instead, she decided to just ignore it and figure out what to do later.

“What are you going to do about it?” Raven asked as soon as Clarke slid into the booth across from her.

“About what?”

“The whole _my ex-boyfriend who I thought didn’t love me wrote a whole album six years later about how he still loves me thing_ ,” Raven rolled her eyes.

“What?” Maya asked as she slid in next to Clarke.

“Nothing,” Clarke shot a glare at Raven.

“We found out that Clarke’s ex-boyfriend from high school is now the leader singer of an up and coming rock band and their second album is all about how he loves Clarke still.”

“Wow,” Maya turned to look at Clarke. “You’re upset about this?”

“Yes,” Clarke sighed and Raven tilted her head questioningly. “When we broke up, he said he didn’t want to hold me back that he would never be the same as anyone I ever met at school and it just wouldn’t work out long term. I asked him if he didn’t love me anymore and he hesitated so I said fine and walked out.”

“Clarke,” Raven said quietly. “Hesitation doesn’t mean he didn’t love you. It just means he didn’t want to tell you he did because then you would have fought harder.”

“No,” Clarke shook her head. “We dated for two years and I told him I loved him within the first few months and in all that time he never said anything more than ‘me too’.”

Maya reached over and wrapped her hand around Clarke’s, “Have you tried reaching out to him?”

“No and I’m not going to. I’m not doing it to be mean, but I’ve moved on and I’m not going to get my hopes up that he might feel the same for me now for what I felt for him in high school. If we’re ever in the same place again, I would say hi and congratulate him on his success, but we’re never going to be an us again.”

Maya and Raven exchanged a look and Clarke shook it off, “Come on. I thought we were here for a girls night. It’s suppose to be fun, not talking about my ex.”

“Okay, then. Shots!” Raven called to the bartender as Maya squeezed Clarke’s hand again and gave her a small smile.

And Clarke did just that. The next few weeks got busy as finals approached and Clarke studied listening to The Delinquents’ music, but never brought them up again and didn’t follow them on social media. She didn’t want something they posted to pop up randomly in her feed and ruin her day. Seeing Bellamy constantly (and it seemed Octavia and/or Monty posted at least once a day) would be too much.

It was just before finals when mainstream media picked up The Delinquents’ “Only Girl I Ever Loved” and played it constantly. Clarke was already immune to it, but the squealing undergrads she passed every day talking about how hot Bellamy Blake was – that was a little more difficult.

“Oh my god,” Clarke slumped onto the couch next to Raven. “If I have to hear one more girl talk about Bellamy’s abs or his dick size, I’m going to rip my ears off.”

Raven laughed and nudged Clarke, “You’re probably one of the only girls who can shut them up by telling them exactly how big he is or isn’t.”

“God, no. I don’t want anyone to know that I’m the girl in the songs. Remember what you said about being murdered by a groupie. I literally heard two freshmen talking about ways to track her down and torture her. No thank you.”

Raven cackled and pointed to the TV, “Well you might want to disappear into your room because they’re about to interview the band in like two minutes.”

“And why are you watching?”

“Curiosity?” Raven shrugged.

“Please tell me you’re still not having dirty thoughts about him.”

“Well, I mean. He’s attractive, but now that I know he’s the guy who we literally burned every picture of and our dorm room smelled for two weeks after, not really. I just want to see what he says about the album and well, I guess you.”

“Oh,” Clarke sunk further into the couch and thought about it. “Is it weird that I kind of want to hear what he says too?”

“Not at all. It’s completely normal,” Raven turned the volume up on the TV. “Well, not really. This situation is weird, but if my ex wrote an entire album about how he still loved me and then did an interview about it. I would want to too.”

“Good. I’m not going crazy then,” Clarke mumbled just as the show came back on and the host announced that their next guests were the wildly popular band The Delinquents.

Jasper came bouncing out first and high-fiving everyone on his way to the couch and Murphy came out next scowling at Jasper while Miller walked out and nodded at everyone followed by Bellamy smirking as he stopped to hug a young fan who immediately turned red. Once they were all seated, the interviewer immediately began asking the typical questions. How did you all meet? Where did you come up with the name?

Then they got to the meatier stuff.

“So Bellamy, you write all the band’s songs, right?”

Bellamy fidgeted in his seat. What looked like a calm and collected shift to everyone else, looked like an old nervous habit to Clarke.

“Mostly. Murphy and Miller sometimes work on things with me or solo.”

“But you wrote most of this album, including ‘The Only Girl I Ever Loved’.”

“Yeah, I did,” Bellamy rubbed the back of his neck – another nervous tick.

“So have you only ever been in love once?”

“Yes,” Bellamy said with no hesitation.

“Who is the only girl you ever loved?”

Bellamy laughed, “Besides my sister and my mom?”

Everyone laughed with him too, “Well, of course. Besides them, but who is the princess you keep talking about?”

“A girl from high school. We dated a little bit, but were friends first and then we broke up when she went to school.”

“And since you all went to school together, you all knew her too?”

The rest of the band nodded and the interviewer went on, “Care to give us a name?”

Jasper laughed nervously and Miller rolled his eyes, but Murphy spoke up, “Not really. She’s doing her thing and we’re doing ours. She was just as much our friend as Bellamy is and when they broke up we lost her too so it’s not like we’re going to go blabbing her name so everyone can harass her because they don’t know the whole story. They just hear a song from one person’s side and think they know it all.”

“That’s true,” the interviewer nodded their head. “So, Bellamy. Is she still the only girl you’ve ever loved? Or is there a new girl in your life?”

“No, new girl. I’m all about the music right now.”

“And he’s still hoping to win her back after six years,” Jasper said off-handedly like it was something he wasn’t suppose to say.

The interviewer snapped to attention and turned her eyes back on Bellamy, “So you do still love her?”

Bellamy was scowling at Jasper, but it was Murphy who hit him in the back of the head.

“Yes,” Bellamy turned his scowl on the interviewer who quickly switched topics.

Clarke turned to Raven at the same time that Raven turned to her and they both had their jaws hanging open.

“He’s still trying to win you back?” Raven asked in complete shock. “Why can’t he just pick up the phone like a normal person or write a letter or something?”

“Because that’s Bellamy. He can’t always just say what he wants. And he probably thinks something stupid like now he’s made it big and he’s ‘worthy’ of me now or something. He was always saying that I deserved someone better.”

“Wow, that’s just wow.”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a while before Clarke stood up and mumbled something about studying and retreated to her room. Clarke tried not to think about Bellamy or the interview for the duration of finals – which of course didn’t happen, but she powered through and finished her finals.

“Honey, I’m home!” Clarke called into the apartment after her last final.

“Hey, Clarke!” Maya’s voice could be heard from the living room.

“Hey, Maya. I didn’t know you were coming over,” Clarke stepped into the living room to find Maya sitting on the armchair with Raven and Wells on the couch. “What’s going on? This feels like that intervention we had for Wells when he started that collection of weird tree branches.”

“Hey!” Wells called out.

“It’s okay, babe. I was only mildly weirded out,” Raven pat his thigh, but Wells crossed his arms over his chest.

“It’s not an intervention. More like a surprise gift,” Maya stood up and handed Clarke an envelope.

“My birthday isn’t for another six months though.”

“It’s not a birthday present. We know you’ve been a little weird since everything,” Raven made a vague hand gesture. “So this is to make things less weird.”

“Okay,” Clarke opened up the envelope to see four tickets to a local music festival. “This is really great, guys. Thanks!”

Clarke hugged Maya, but the other girl didn’t really return the hug, “I’m glad you like it, but Wells and I outvoted Raven and thought we should tell you before we go tonight.”

“I just wanted to surprise you,” Raven interrupted.

“One of the bands playing tonight is The Delinquents,” Maya continued.

“And I already reached out to Octavia. She knows we’re coming,” Wells offered sheepishly.

“Oh,” Clarke looked down at the list of bands and saw The Delinquents listed as the third name.

“You don’t have to go,” Maya quickly offered.

“But you should,” Raven countered. “You’ll never know if you don’t talk to him and it seemed like Murphy was pissed that you didn’t stay friends with the rest of them.”

“They were his friends first. I didn’t want to take them away or stay friends and have to hear about how he was moving on.”

“I get it. And they would probably get it too. So you should explain it to them,” Raven reached out and grabbed Clarke’s arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Clarke sighed and stood there weighing the pros and cons of going. Con she would have to see Bellamy and the rest of them again. Pro she could maybe talk to all the guys and explain why she just left for school and didn’t stay in touch. Con she would see Octavia again and she probably hated Clarke as much as Bellamy did. Pro she would get to see Bellamy.

“Alright, when do we leave?” Clarke turned to offer a small smile to her friends who grinned back at her.

Clarke felt the energy from the crowd as they moved all around her, but all she felt was nerves. Raven had pushed and shoved their way up to the front to stand right in front of the stage and Clarke had been dragged along. She really didn’t want to be that close, but Maya and Wells were standing at her back and she couldn’t run in the opposite direction. She was happy for Bellamy and the guys. The crowd seemed to love them and they were going to be great, but she was still nervous about seeing them all again, not just Bellamy.

The crowd erupted into cheers when the lights on the stage went dark signaling the band’s entrance and Clarke felt Wells slip his hand into hers and squeeze it. She turned to look at him standing in between her and Raven and squeezed his hand back.

Clarke turned back to the stage in time to see the lights slowly get brighter to reveal The Delinquents standing at their instruments. Directly in front of her was Murphy as he began strumming his guitar to start the first song – an old one from their first EP. Bellamy was standing in the center of the stage and Clarke slowly turned to take him in. He was a little broader than he was in high school with a lot more muscles and his hair was more unruly – he was definitely going for that just fucked look (which Clarke knew so well, but really hoped it was fake and not authentic).

As the song hit the first chorus, Clarke found herself joining her friends and singing along and dancing in the crowd with Maya as Wells and Raven danced together. Halfway though their set, Clarke spotted Octavia standing off stage with a giant man with tattoos, who was probably security.

As their set was winding down, Clarke felt someone tap her shoulder so she turned around and came face to face with the tall tattooed bodyguard.

He leaned in and whispered in her ear, “Clarke Griffin?”

Clarke nodded knowing he wouldn’t hear her.

“Come with me, Octavia wants a word.”

Clarke started to follow him and felt Raven grab her hand. The guy must have noticed her friends wanting to come so he shook his head and told Clarke only she was to come. Clarke looked back at them and nodded and gave them a small smile.

Clarke followed the bodyguard behind the stage and took a deep breath when she recognized Octavia standing with her back to Clarke and her eyes on the stage. She remembered how close the Blake siblings were and knew that Octavia was the last one she would want to run into in a dark alley.

“Hey, O,” the bodyguard touched her shoulder gently and she turned around to smile at him before glancing back at Clarke.

“Thanks, Lincoln. Do you mind waiting here for the boys to get off stage?”

“Sure,” Lincoln squeezed her arm again and headed for the stage.

“Follow me,” Octavia gestured for Clarke to follow her.

“How are you?” Clarke asked as she fell into step with the younger girl.

Octavia stopped when they were a good distance from the stage, “Why are you here?”

“My friends got me tickets to celebrate the end of finals.”

“I know. That’s what Wells told me. I want to know why you actually showed your face here? Is it because you saw the interview and you think you can worm your way into Bell’s life again because he’s still not over you and he’s about to be famous?”

“Really, Octavia. Do you think I’m just after fame or something? I thought you knew me better than that,” Clarke began searching her small cross-body bag to find her phone and pulled it out and opened her email looking for the receipt from her purchase of The Delinquents’ albums. Once she did, she turned it around to Octavia. “My friend Raven discovered them about three months ago, she’s got a knack for finding bands before they hit it big and she shared it with me. I didn’t realize who it was until two months later when I downloaded their second album and was listening to it late one night while writing a paper. I barely got that paper in on time because I spent the rest of the night trying to find any information on them to confirm it was really who I thought it was.”

“So why are you here?”

“I’m not here for Bellamy.” Octavia scoffed so Clarke corrected. “I’m not here for Bellamy unless he wants to talk to me. I’m here for the rest of them. I saw the interview and I didn’t realize how much I hurt Murphy and the rest when I left. They were Bellamy’s friends first and I didn’t want to make them pick sides or stay friends with them and hear how Bellamy moved on so I just distanced myself and I realized that it hurt them as much as it hurt me.”

Octavia narrowed her eyes at her, “Why do you say you’re not here for Bellamy unless he wants to talk to you?”

Clarke looked at Octavia questioningly, “Because he broke up with me?”

Octavia’s crossed arms dropped to her sides, “That idiot. He made it sound like you were breaking up with him so he made it mutual to make it easier on himself. God, his story never sounded right.”

“Well, I did ask him how he wanted to do everything while I was at school and then he just dropped the bomb that he wasn’t.”

“Damn him. All this time and it was his own fault,” Octavia rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve been blaming you for years. And don’t give me that look, Clarke. I know it was all him, you can’t take it back now.”

Clarke looked down at her feet because she could feel the tears in her eyes and then looked up at Octavia, “I loved him, O. I still do. I would never hurt him like that, you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Octavia sighed before wrapping her in a hug. “I should have trusted my gut and ignored him being an idiot.”

“Clarke?”

Both girls spun around to find Bellamy standing behind them looking like he just got off stage and ran to where they were; the rest of the band coming to a stop behind him.

“Hey, Bell,” Clarke gave him a watery smile before brushing the tears away.

“What are you doing here?”

Clarke’s eyes slid to Murphy, “I saw your interview and I wanted to say I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you guys choose a side so I took myself out of the equation and I didn’t realize how much I was hurting you all just to lessen my pain.”

Monty gave her a weak smile, “We figured that’s what it was.”

“Yeah,” Jasper nodded. “We didn’t hate you or anything. We were just pissed.”

“Speak for yourself,” Murphy grumbled not breaking eye contact with Clarke.

“Back off, Murphy,” Octavia stepped up next to Clarke with her arms crossed and stared her brother down. “Want to tell the truth, brother dearest or should I?”

“I never lied,” Bellamy turned to his sister. “I told the truth and let you think what you wanted to.”

“Bull shit, Bell. You told us that you broke up because she was going to school. You never mentioned that you broke up with her and she wanted to stay together. God, you’re such an idiot.”

“Is that true, Bellamy?” Miller asked quietly.

Clarke could see the muscle tick in Bellamy’s jaw and everyone else could too.

“You’re an ass,” Murphy shook his head. “Fix it.”

Murphy turned to go and the rest followed. Clarke noticed that Miller threw an arm around Monty’s shoulders and Monty wrapped an arm around his waist and squeezed. Octavia walked off towards the bodyguard and wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her forehead against his back.

Clarke felt a large smile cross her face before she turned to meet Bellamy’s stare. His eyes were so full of pain, but his stance was still defensive with his arms crossed.

“Hey, Bell,” Clarke smiled at him.

“Hey, princess,” Bellamy’s stance seemed to soften.

“Your music is really great. The first time I heard your second album, I cried. And I didn’t even know it was you then.”

“Really?” Bellamy looked nervous and Clarke smiled at that – seeing her nervous, dorky best friend in this confident rock star.

“I missed you,” Bellamy let slip out.

Clarke gave him a small smile, “I missed you too, Bell, but this is what you wanted.”

“It wasn’t. Yes, I was an idiot. I know that and I knew that then, but my plan was to do something great and win you back.”

Clarke laughed and Bellamy dropped his eyes, but Clarke could still see the hurt there.

“No, not that. I literally told my friend, Raven, that was what your plan probably was,” Clarke paused and took a step towards him. “Bell, you didn’t have to do anything great to have me, you know that right? You were perfect as you were.”

“Clarke, you saw how everyone looked at me at your graduation party.”

“How? How did they look at you, Bellamy?”

“Like I was nothing. Like I would hold you back. Look at that Clarke’s going to an Ivy League school and oh, Bellamy, what are you doing? Staying here and working while you raise your little sister? That’s what we expected.”

“Bellamy,” Clarke started.

“Just stop, Clarke. You know it’s true.”

“That doesn’t matter to me! None of that mattered to me! You know that? Don’t fucking lie to me. You know I didn’t care about that and I loved you for who you were.”

“I was eighteen and I was stupid, Clarke. I was too focused on what people wanted for you and not what you wanted for you. Your mother – “

“Don’t even start with my mother, Bellamy. I haven’t spoken to her in three years. Our relationship was a time bomb waiting to happen and yes, maybe if you and I stayed together it would have happened sooner, but I would have still chosen you over her every time.”

“I know. I know that. But why did we have to be some sort of Romeo and Juliet tragedy?” Bellamy ran his hand through his hair and placed both hands behind his head.

Clarke took a deep breath and watched him carefully, “We don’t have to be anymore.”

Bellamy’s arms dropped to his sides, “Are you saying – “

“I’m saying that I have the next month off from school. When do you have to be in another city?”

“Not for another two days.”

“Then – “ Clarke was cut off when his lips claimed hers and he pulled her into his body.

“Clarke, do you want to grab dinner with me tomorrow night?” Bellamy asked her breathlessly. 

Clarke just laughed before grabbing the back of his head and pulling him down for another kiss, “Of course, you idiot.”

* * *

 

ONE YEAR LATER – Ark Gossip Magazine

_Bellamy Blake walked the red carpet at the Grammy’s last night with the rest of The Delinquents, but had his mysterious girlfriend on his arm for the night. Blake, 25, began dating Clarke Griffin, 25 and a grad student in Boston, last year after the two reconnected. Blake and Griffin were high school sweethearts (cue the awws) who broke up before Griffin left for college and lost touch for six years until The Delinquents made it big and Griffin attended one of their shows that spring._

_Blake has made it perfectly clear that he broke up with Griffin and she willingly took him back after he groveled. And who wouldn’t take back an ex who wrote an entire album as an apology and love letter in one, especially one that looked like Blake (have you seen his abs?). We have yet to hear Griffin’s side of the story, but these two seem like their in it for the long haul (sorry girls) so maybe we’ll get to see more of Griffin around and she can tell her side._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'm on [tumblr](http://thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com/) and always taking requests and writing when I can.
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated! :)


	6. always looking for something different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from [lushatrocity](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lushatrocity/pseuds/lushatrocity): So, I actually thing thg would make for a great au - and I've always found the idea of Bellamy as her mentor intriguing (especially if she volunteered for Octavia).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've had this prompt for months (we're talking like December or January) and I've been working on it, but a lot of other stuff kept popping up and my muse was just not there. I finally finished it a few days ago (and again kept meaning to posit it and just kept forgetting).
> 
> So, my dear, I am very sorry about this, and you probably forgot about it, but do not lose faith because I never did. I just had a hard time writing it. I hope you like how it turned out.

Bellamy’s heart stopped when he heard her name called – so much that he almost missed what happened next.

“I volunteer!” Called a low, raspy voice from somewhere in the middle of the group of girls.

Octavia had been walking towards the front with her head held high, but her eyes glued to Bellamy’s. Both Blakes turned towards the voice and saw Clarke Griffin stumble out of the crowd of girls. Blue eyed, blonde hair Clarke Griffin. The princess of District 12.

Clarke made her way towards the stage where her mother and the Mayor both sat. Anya’s eyes widened, but she put on her fake forced smile which looked more like a grimace.

“Well it looks like we have a volunteer from District 12. Please, please, come up here. Let’s get a look at you,” Anya, the Capital’s escort, kept babbling.

Clarke passed Octavia and gave her a small smile before throwing her shoulders back and marching towards the stage like she was going into battle.

It didn’t make sense to Bellamy. Clarke was almost eighteen. She was almost done with being a tribute. In fact, she would be eighteen in a month. Why would she volunteer? Was it for Octavia? Was it because she wanted to do something reckless? Bellamy had no idea, but he only knew that he had to make sure Clarke Griffin survived because she had taken O’s place – whether she did it for Octavia or not – she was going to come home as a victor, even if it was the last thing Bellamy ever did.

Bellamy didn’t even bother to try and find Clarke before the train. He knew her family would be there to say goodbye to her, but he was surprised when Wells Jaha, the Mayor’s son, came to find him.

“Blake,” Wells stopped in front of him and Bellamy crossed his arms over his chest.

“Jaha. I have a train to catch.”

“Don’t worry. It won’t leave without District 12’s only mentor,” Wells sighed and his shoulders slumped. “Will you take care of her?”

“Do you think I’m a monster? Of course I will. She volunteered for my sister. I’m surprised you didn’t volunteer to go with her.”

“I turned eighteen last month. I wasn’t even in the drawing,” Wells glanced behind him.

“Shit.”

“You know why she did it, right?”

“No,” Bellamy glanced around and took a step closer. “Do you?”

Wells shook his head and glanced around, “Not here.”

But Bellamy never got his answer because Anya was calling for him and the train whistle was blowing.

“Hey Blake!” Wells called as he made his way towards the train. “I’ll keep an eye on Octavia while you’re gone.”

Bellamy nodded to Wells and continued towards the train. He’d make sure the princess was okay and he would have to put his trust in Wells to keep Octavia safe.

Bellamy became one of the first victors in years for District 12 really by accident about five years ago when he was sixteen. It wasn’t an accident that he was a tribute. The number of times he took extra rations for his family that put his name into the drawing he was surprised it took until he was sixteen to be called. He didn’t have any talent really beyond fighting. He was lean, but not big and spent a lot of time fighting in the schoolyard growing up because people liked to make fun of his mom or pick on O. He pretty much just kept a low profile until it became impossible and was able to pick off anyone that came after him. He kept his promise to O and he came home without hurting too many people.

Bellamy decided not to seek Clarke out and to wait until later to confront her. He didn’t want to tip his hand that he’s choosing one of District 12’s tributes to support over the other. However, Dax found him first.

“So, what’s the plan?”

Bellamy raised his eyebrows at him, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re going to help me win, right? It’s not like the princess has any talents. So if we want a victor from District 12 again, then you’re going to have to pick me.”

“Right,” Bellamy sighed. He forgot about this. The competition between tributes within the same district is almost as bad as competition between other districts. And Dax isn’t wrong. He does _physically_ have a better shot than Clarke, but he’s still going to do everything he can to help her. Even if he has to drag her up to the roof of the tribute’s quarters every night and teach her how to fight.

“Well what talents do you have?” Bellamy asked.

“I can fight. Like you. That’s how you won, right?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy glanced up when he heard a shuffle outside the compartment door and finds Clarke pulling the door open.

“Discussing strategy? Wouldn’t want to start without both of us, would you?” Clarke said primly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, princess,” Bellamy smirked at her.

Clarke rolled her eyes and sat on the other side of the table across from Dax and raised her eyebrows at him.

“So, got any talents, princess?” Bellamy asked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Clarke smirked back at him and Bellamy had to give her credit for standing her ground.

“Well if you want my help, then you’re going to have to give me something, princess.”

Clarke seemed to think for a second and Bellamy watched her eyes flick to Dax and he knew what she was thinking.

“Okay, then. So I’m guessing we will go the well-traveled route of separate training. Dax in the morning and Clarke in the afternoon.”

“Right. When do we get started?” Dax asked.

“When we reach the Capital. For now – enjoy yourselves. I know I will be,” Bellamy gave a salacious waggle of his eyes at Clarke before standing up and pouring himself some alcohol.

&&&

Training went uneventfully and it turned out Clarke did have some hidden talents – namely archery. She wouldn’t tell him where she learned it since something like that was forbidden in the districts. He was able to teach her some hand to hand combat, but most of their planning came from the fact that Clarke was small enough to scale trees faster than her opponents and would be able to pick them off one by one.

The last night before the Games were to begin, Bellamy found Clarke on the rooftop of the training center. It’s where most of their private lessons occurred because Bellamy couldn’t be found favoring one of the tributes over the other.

Clarke was sitting as close to the edge of the roof as possible without touching the force field. Bellamy walked over and sat with his back to the force field, but close enough that his shoulder brushed against hers.

“Brave princess,” Bellamy smirked before turning to face the rest of the roof, still kind of nervous about heights.

“Still scared of heights, Blake,” Clarke smirked back at him before turning to watch the people still celebrating below.

Bellamy’s eyes slid to hers slowly trying to think when he had let his guard down enough that Clarke had discovered that particular fear, but chose not to respond.

“Come to find out why I volunteered for Octavia before I die?”

“I’m doing everything I can to keep you alive, princess. Can you at least go in tomorrow thinking that?”

“I am, but I also need to make peace with the fact that I won’t,” Clarke sighed. “And more importantly, warn you.”

“Warn me?” Bellamy’s eyes shot to Clarke again.

“You need to stop having your secret meetings with Pike. The Capital knows – that’s why Octavia’s name was called.”

“How – “

“I wasn’t sure, but I was visiting Wells and I overheard a conversation between his father and someone in the Capital,” Clarke paused. “I just heard your name and Pike’s and _rebellion_.”

Bellamy’s eyebrows shot up because that’s not what they were planning on do it. Pike was just trying to get elected as Mayor so maybe there could be some equality between the Seam and the middle class in District 12.

“Pike just wanted things to be fair in District 12,” Bellamy said quietly, cursing his own stupidity for putting his sister, his one responsibility in danger.

“The Capital doesn’t want that. If things are fair in District 12, people begin to think what would it be like if things were fair between the Capital and the districts,” Clarke’s voice remained quiet. “You need to stop whatever you’re doing – at least until Octavia is eighteen. But she still won’t be safe. The Capital – it has other ways of getting people to fall in line.” Clarke’s voice was laced with tears, but she was facing away from him so he couldn’t be sure.

“That’s what happened to your father, isn’t it?” Bellamy said softly. Jake Griffin had been the only casualty of a mine explosion ten years ago. Bellamy remembered how the Griffins had become the Capital’s image of a grieving widow and father-less child – never mind the kids whose fathers died in the mine explosion two months before that – including his own.

Clarke turned to look at him probably knowing what he was thinking and saw the tears running down her face, “He found out what happened in the explosion a few months before that.”

“It was an accident,” Bellamy began, but stopped once he saw Clarke shaking her head.

“The Capital sets off the explosions every few years – sporadically so no one would see the pattern. It’s how they keep District 12 in its place. If ten to twenty of our strong men die in an accidental explosion every few years – it will leave us weak and we can’t revolt like 13 did.”

“Why –“ Bellamy cleared his throat. “Why us?”

Clarke turned to meet his eyes before sighing, “Accidents happen all across the districts – not just 12.”

&&&

“I need to see her,” Bellamy tried to push his way through the Peacekeepers. “She’s my tribute. Let me see her.”

“Mr. Blake,” Anya called from behind him. “Let the medical team do their job. You can see her when she’s awake.”

Bellamy tried to push through one more time and then gave up deciding to sit against the wall outside of the room they were working on Clarke in.

Clarke – who had won the Hunger Games, Clarke – who had become District 12’s second victor in recent years.

Bellamy couldn’t remember how long he had sat there. He hadn’t slept much while Clarke was in the Arena – sticking to power naps when Anya forced him (she pretended not to care, but after all these years she still acted like his escort).

Eventually, the doctors agreed that Bellamy could see Clarke. Besides for being malnourished, exhausted, and a litany of scars, she would be okay – physically. Mentally is a whole other story that Bellamy knows all too well.

Clarke was still asleep when Bellamy was allowed into her room so Bellamy flopped into the seat next to her bed and promptly fell asleep.

“About time, sleepyhead.”

Bellamy jolted awake to see Clarke attempting to sit up in the bed next to his.

“Shit,” Bellamy jumped to his feet and flailed around trying to help Clarke who stopped and just leveled a glare at him.

“Bellamy,” Clarke warned. “Just stop. I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” Bellamy’s hands fell down by his side.

“I’m alive,” Clarke sighed before flopping back onto her pillows. “That’s okay enough.”

“Clarke,” Bellamy sighed.

“Bellamy, it’s okay. I just want to go home,” Clarke said quietly.

“And we will,” Bellamy sat on the bed next to her. “You just have to do the final interview and then we will be on the train back home.”

“Promise?” Clarke’s voice stayed just as quiet as she closed her eyes.

“I promise,” Bellamy leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Get some sleep, princess.”

&&&

Bellamy leaned against the train door as the train pulled into the station at District 12.

“Hey,” Clarke appeared next to him and leaned on the opposite door.

“You ready?” Bellamy straightened up and turned to face Clarke.

“No,” Clarke turned and slouched against the door again. “Any wise words, mentor?”

“Just keep smiling and act like you’re incredibly happy that you won.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “That’s the best you got?”

“That’s all I got. You do that and let me take care of everything else.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” Bellamy placed both hands on her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her forehead just before Anya burst into the compartment.

“Time to go,” Anya growled.

“Right,” Bellamy made a motion signaling to Anya to go first and followed Clarke and Anya out onto the platform.

Through the quiet cheers, Bellamy watched as Clarke was engulfed in hugs by her mother and Wells and various school friends.

“Bell.”

Bellamy turned around to find Octavia standing at his elbow and grinned before picking his little sister up and spinning her around.

“You’re okay?” Bellamy whispered in her hair.

“Yeah, Wells came by every day and checked on me. He wouldn’t tell me why, but –“

“That’s good. Don’t worry about it,” Bellamy placed Octavia back on her feet. “We’ll talk about it later.” Bellamy pressed another kiss into her hair.

“Okay, fine. So how’s the princess?”

Bellamy turned back to look at Clarke as she posed for the cameras. “She’ll be okay.”

“Like you’re okay?”

Bellamy turned back to his sister and draped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side, “Exactly.”

Octavia rolled her eyes.

“Come on. Anya will probably be looking for me soon,” Bellamy dragged Octavia towards the rest of the gathered crowd.

&&&

It was a few days after their return that Bellamy was out for his normal late night walk when the nightmares got to be too much and he heard cries coming from Clarke’s house. He looked around and saw one of the bedroom’s windows wide open.

Bellamy took the steps up her porch two and jiggle the handle of her door only to find it already unlocked. He inwardly cursed her for leaving it open, but charged up the stairs to the back bedroom and threw the door open to find Clarke thrashing around on her bed crying out in pain or fear – he didn’t know.

“Clarke,” Bellamy called to her softly knowing how hard it was to wake himself out of a nightmare. When she didn’t respond, Bellamy reached out and grabbed her shoulders to hold her down and called louder, “Princess! Wake up!”

Clarke gasped and tried to sit up, but Bellamy was still holding her down and eventually let go once he saw her breathing had returned to a more normal pace. Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath before sitting up in her bed. Bellamy sat on the other side facing her.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke whispered.

“Don’t,” Bellamy shook his head.

They sat in silence for a while before Bellamy broke it.

“It helps to have someone else in the house – close by,” Bellamy cleared his throat. “This way when they get bad and you can’t wake yourself up, someone will hear you and wake you up.”

“Are you offering?” Clarke sighed, her eyes still closed.

“I was going to suggest your mother or Wells.”

“No,” Clarke snapped and her eyes flew open to glare at him.

“Okay,” Bellamy sighed and took a deep breath. “My mother’s room is still open if you need it.”

Clarke chuckled sadly, “I’m good. They’re normally not that bad.”

Bellamy lifted an eyebrow and waited.

“Usually,” Clarke sighed again and Bellamy gave her a wry grin.

“Really? Octavia has to wake me at least twice a week.”

Clarke glanced down at her knees which were pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them.

“Hey,” Bellamy reached over and placed a hand on her arm. “I’m still here for you.”

Clarke nodded still looking down, “Would – would you mind staying?”

“Sure,” Bellamy shrugged. “Scoot over.”

Clarke slide over to the other side of the bed and Bellamy kicked off his boots before crawling into the empty space on top of the covers. As soon as he was settled, Clarke rolled into his side and he wrapped his arm around her.

He woke early the next morning before the sun and found himself tangled in Clarke Griffin with her hair in his face and her arms wrapped around him and his wrapped around her and their legs tangled together. Bellamy slowly extracted himself from the bed and made his way home.

In the weeks and months that followed, it became a normal pattern for them. One of them would have a nightmare they couldn’t shake and they would make their way across the worn path to the other’s house and slip into the bed just to remind themselves that they weren’t alone – that they were in this together.

&&&

“Blake,” Pike walked up to Bellamy as he stood in the square with his sister while she looked at the freshly iced caked. “Haven’t seen you in a while?”

“Hey, O. Why don’t you go in and buy one of those cakes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Make sure to get a big one though. We’ll have company for dinner again.”

Octavia rolled her eyes, “I remember.” Then disappeared into the bakery.

“Where have you been?”

“The Capital knows about your plan,” Bellamy said quietly before glancing around again. “I’m out.”

“What? Why?”

“My sister’s name was the only name in that bowl. I’m not going through that again.”

“Bellamy,” Pike sighed. “This is what the Capital wants. They want to scare you into doing what they want.”

“Well, they did. And Octavia just turned seventeen. I have one more Reaping to get through before she’s safe from that. Then I have the rest of her life to worry about her being framed for some crime she didn’t do or some accident where she’s the only casualty.”

“Bellamy,” Pike started, but quickly snapped his mouth shut and glared at something behind Bellamy.

“Hey, Bell,” Clarke’s voice came from behind his right shoulder.

Bellamy turned around and gave her a nod, “Hey, Clarke. You and Raven still coming to dinner?”

“Yeah, I invited Wells too, if that’s okay? He’s got a thing for Raven,” Clarke grinned, but her eyes were hard as she watched Pike.

“The more the merrier. Octavia’s inside picking out some cakes. Can you make sure she’s not buying the whole store? Then we’ll walk you home.”

“Sure thing, Bell,” Clarke’s grin turned softer as she nodded and turned into the store.

“Hanging out with the prince and princess of District 12?” Pike’s voice turned cold.

“She warned me about the Capital before she went into the arena. She volunteered for Octavia for that reason,” Bellamy said exasperated. “I won’t put my family in danger. My sister, my responsibility.”

“What about your responsibility to the district?”

“They come second to Octavia.”

“And your responsibility to Clarke Griffin?”

Bellamy glared at Pike, “I’m done with your rebellion Pike. It’s going to get everyone killed.” Bellamy turned to go and then stopped to add over his shoulder. “And I’m tired of losing the people I love.”

“What did Pike want?” Clarke asked quietly a few nights later when Bellamy found himself in her bed.

“Wanted to know why he hadn’t seen me around anymore.”

“You’re really done with everything?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy let out a deep breath. “My family is too important to me.”

“I know how much Octavia means to you,” Clarke said softly and pressed her face into his shoulder.

“Clarke.” Bellamy waited until Clarke picked her head up to look at him. “You’re important to me too.”

Clarke’s answering smile was brilliant and lit up the whole room and Bellamy was blinded by it and barely missed her lips as they descended on his. Bellamy slide his hand into her hair and changed the angle of her head to deepen the kiss.

Clarke pulled away when she couldn’t breathe anymore and pressed her face into the crook of his neck, “I love you, too.”

&&&

“We can’t have too many,” Clarke breathed into her hands to keep them warm.

The four of them were standing in the town square in broad daylight at its busiest time.

“How many is too many?” Wells asked.

“It depends on how we stagger it,” Raven explained. “I’d suggest one or two at a time. We don’t want people wondering where we’re going in large groups.”

“Should we really be doing this in the dead of winter?” Bellamy had to ask again.

“No one will expect it now,” Clarke answered again.

“But – footprints,” Bellamy grasped at something. He wanted to find any flaw in their plan to prove how unsafe it was for them – anything to keep Octavia and Clarke and the rest of them safe.

“Not if we go on a night when it’s snowing,” Raven grinned – she knew how much he hated the snow. “By the time morning comes around the footprints will be covered so we’ll be good.”

Bellamy huffed and Clarke slipped a gloved hand into his crossed arms around his bicep.

“This is a good thing, Bell. We’re getting out. Our family will be safe.”

Bellamy nodded even though his jaw was clenched. He needed to get his family out now more than ever.

“We’ll be able to stay in that cabin by the lake for the winter,” Raven continued. “It’s small, but the five of us can make it work. Then head as far away from here as we can and build a home.”

Wells wrapped an arm around Raven’s shoulders and pulled her into his side and pressed a kiss to her temple. “It’s a good plan.”

“It is,” Bellamy sighed and leaned his head against Clarke’s.

“It’s going to take a while to build homes and other things we’ll need, but in the end, we’ll be free.” Raven nodded as if that was all they would need.

“We can always come back for others,” Clarke added looking at Bellamy and he couldn’t help remember the rebellion that he wanted to start that would have cost Octavia her life.

&&&

“Do you know what today is?” Clarke asked quietly from where her face was pressed into Bellamy’s neck with his arm wrapped around her.

“Reaping,” Bellamy sighed not trying to think about that day, but every year he still remembered it. Remembered the day his own name was called. Remembered the day his sister’s name was called. Remembered Clarke volunteering.

It had been five years since they had escaped District 12 and they weren’t the only ones who had come in those five years. Every year in the dead of winter, Bellamy and Wells made the trek back to District 12 and waited in the little cabin by the lake for a few days for those trying for a better life – some trying to get to 13 and others trying to get anywhere else. Those who wanted came back with them – most didn’t. 

“I try to forget it, but it’s so hard to,” Clarke said quietly.

“Me too,” Bellamy sighed quietly before using his free hand to push Clarke’s shirt up and placing his hand over the small visible bump. “But at least she won’t ever have to worry about it or even know what it was.” 

“I’d like to tell her,” Clarke looked up into his face with a small smile. “I want to tell her the only good thing that came from it – meeting you.”

Bellamy smiled back at her, “I think that would be a good story.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I am accepting prompts on [tumblr](thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com), just don't expect something to be written for awhile (as you can see). I've been really busy studying for the bar exam again and life has just been really crazy. So send a prompt, if you want, I've been slowly writing when I have breaks or take a few hours off for my mental health.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to take prompts over on [tumblr](http://thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com/) and try and update when I can.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


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